SEX NEWS YOU CAN USE

SEX IS GOOD FOR HEALTH !

2011-02-18T21:43:00.001-08:00

Sex is an important facet of our life and we must each of us have a healthy sex life to keep our batteries fully charged ! In fact sex is one of the most wonderful things created by God , by which we attain nirvana and pleasure of a new dimension !

For sexual release to come through , and especially for self gratification it is perfectly normal to masturbate , and in fact a vast majority does use this route to stay healthy !

Remember , good sex is actually good for your health and is essential as is good food , good fresh air and a good night's sleep !

Sex is good for you and your health , so keep the right perspective , but at the same time protect yourself from diseases and at best avoid pre martial sex since that is not advisable in the interest of your mental and physical health !

ARE YOU REALLY PROTECTED FROM SEX DISEASES ?

2010-10-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's obvious that if you limit your partners to exactly zero, you are not going to be at risk for nearly all STIs. Just like if I don't cross the street, I'm not likely to be hit by a car. Some nonsexual behaviors can present risks of some (like using intravenous drugs), but over all, sexually transmitted infections are called that because they are most often transmitted through genital sex. So if you don't have any kind of sex (we're mostly talking about oral, anal, vaginal and penile sex), you're probably not going to get or transmit an STI.

But you already knew that. What you might not know is that delaying sexual activity -- or at least some of it -- is also known to help prevent infections. Just from a physiological standpoint alone, very young women, in particular, are more susceptible to STIs just because of the state of their not-yet-finished reproductive systems. Too, younger people often have a tougher time using and negotiating safer sex practices as well as acquiring regular sexual healthcare. So, sometimes even just putting off sex one more year can make a big difference when it comes to your health.

You probably also already know this, but if you and a partner have been each other's only partner for ANY kind of sex, and neither you nor your partner have ever been sexually assaulted, your risks of nearly all STIs are also very low. Oral herpes is still a big possibility since so many people have it and usually acquire it nonsexually in childhood, and for someone who, for instance, was born with HIV, that STI would still be an issue. We still strongly encourage even folks in that situation to start with other safer sex practices -- barriers and testing -- for the first six months, however. Not only do we have to face the reality that not everyone is truthful about their sexual history -- and very frequently, people are not -- but it's just a smart practice to get the hang of. You may need aspects of that experience later with that partner to negotiate and work birth control, for instance, or may need to know how to do safer sex right if one or both of you don't stay exclusive or together.

Even if you already are or have been sexually active, or you or your partner have had more than each other as a partner, it's still sound in terms of your health to be selective about sexual partners and make an effort to limit your number of partners. Why that can often help to prevent infections is just simple common sense. If I cross the street one time a day, I have less of a chance to get hit by a car than I do if I cross it twenty times a day. If I have heterosexual intercourse several times a month, I'm more likely to become pregnant than I would be if i had it but once.

None of this is to say there is one right or wrong thing for everyone when it comes to when we become sexually active or how many sexual partners we have, or that having a given number of sexual partners -- or none at all -- makes anyone a better or worse person. What's right for us emotionally, interpersonally, in terms of our life goals, experiences and relationships is something we have to figure out for ourselves, and something that varies a lot among people. But from a standpoint of personal and public health, delaying sexual activity (with partners: you can masturbate as much as you want) and limiting partners makes a difference and is a sound way of protecting yourself and others.

GETTING MARRIED WITH HIV STATUS !

2010-10-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

CAN A HIV POSITIVE MAN GET MARRIED?

A HIV positive man can get married provided he informs his HIV positive status to his future wife, and she is still willing to marry him knowing all the facts.

A HIV positive man can marry a HIV positive woman, but both need to be counselled before marriage.

PREGNANT MOTHERS WITH HIV AIDS !

2010-10-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

CAN A HIV POSITIVE WOMAN HAVE CHILDREN?

Yes, a HIV positive woman can have children. The pregnant HIV positive woman has a 60% chance of delivering a HIV negative child even with no medical intervention. The chance of her delivering a HIV positive child is 40%. This can now be reduced to a 2% chance of delivering a HIV positive child with medical intervention during the last three months of pregnancy, during labor and delivery and by making the right infant feeding choices for the baby.

• Drugs are available to prevent the child from getting HIV infection from the HIV infected mother and are given to the HIV positive pregnant mother after blood and urine tests during the last three months of pregnancy.
• The parents are also counseled regarding the type of delivery and its cost, and allowed to make a choice. A planned cesarean operation for the mother about two weeks before the due date is ideal to extract the baby without the baby coming into contact with vaginal secretions and fluids during the course of normal vaginal delivery. This is preferred when afforded, especially when the mother has had no treatment with drugs during pregnancy.
• The mother is also counseled regarding infant feeding choices. If she can afford to give clean, artificial milk feeds without using a feeding bottle, this is the best option. However, in the absence of clean water and lack of money for formula feeds or animal milk, the mother may give only breast feeds for three months and then wean the baby abruptly to weaning foods and animal milk. The worst option is to give both breast feeds and artificial feeds alternatively at the same time, as mixed feeds irritate and inflame the baby's intestines making it more easy for the HIV present in the mother's milk to infect the baby.

TREATING HIV AIDS !

2010-10-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

IS THERE TREATMENT FOR HIV/AIDS?

There is treatment for HIV/AIDS by which the viral level in the body is decreased, which in turn allows the immune system to recover. This treatment presently consists of combinations of allopathic drugs taken orally and is to be taken life long under the medical doctor's supervision. Even a single dose should not be skipped.

These drugs prolong the life of a HIV infected person, however, they do not cure HIV/AIDS.

NO THESE DON'T OFFER PROTECTION !

2010-10-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

CAN TAKING TABLETS SUCH AS MALA-D , OR USING COPPER-T PROTECT AGAINST GETTING HIV/AIDS?

Mala-D is a contraceptive tablet, and the Copper-T an intrauterine device, which is used by women to prevent pregnancy, however they do not provide any protection against HIV/AIDS as there is no barrier to body fluids as in the case of the condom. Condoms provide a barrier for the exchange of body fluids, such as, semen, vaginal fluid/discharge and give almost 100% protection against HIV/AIDS, most STDs, and pregnancy if used correctly and consistently, from the time of penetration till the end of the sexual act.

LIVING WITH HIV INFECTION !

2010-10-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

HOW LONG CAN A PERSON LIVE WITH HIV/AIDS?

A person with HIV infection can live a normal and healthy life for a long time, say 8-10 years. AIDS is the last stage of HIV infection where a person starts showing symptoms of HIV infection (i.e., has symptoms and signs of superadded or opportunistic infections). Now treatment is available for keeping HIV/AIDS under control in allopathy. When these medicines are taken under the supervision of a doctor, a HIV infected person can live a healthy, productive life for a longer time.

ARE THERE CURES FOR THIS DISEASE !

2010-10-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

DOES AYURVEDA, SIDDHA OR HOMEOPATHY MEDICINES CURE AIDS?

There is a lot of research going on in all branches of medicine, i.e., ayurveda, siddha, and homeopathy, and medicines are available to boost the immunity. However nothing but allopathic medicine has been proven scientifically to help a person in the AIDS phase of the illness to keep the HIV infection under control. This allopathic treatment has to be taken under the close supervision of an allopathic doctor.

HIV & ACQUIRED IMMUNO DEFICIENCY SYNDROME

2010-10-02T08:02:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIV AND AIDS?

There are two phases in HIV infection after the virus infects a person. In the first phase, the person infected with HIV is asymptomatic, healthy and active, for 8 to 10 years. Only a blood test will tell if one is HIV positive and at least two to three ELISA tests have to be positive. Such a person is infected and is infective to others.

In the second phase, i.e., AIDS phase, the person's immune system becomes weak and as a result they develop other infections or show the symptoms of AIDS white curd-like mouth ulcers, loss of weight, fever on and off, loose motions for more than a month, different kinds of pneumonia, tuberculosis affecting many parts of the body or brain fever. The AIDS phase is the last stage of HIV. Even if a person is in the AIDS phase, by taking antiretroviral therapy for HIV/AIDS, one can live a healthy productive life for a long time, but the medicines have to be taken regularly under the supervision of a qualified medical doctor.

NO CURE AS OF NOW FOR THIS KILLER !

2010-10-02T08:01:00.001-07:00

IS THERE A CURE FOR HIV/AIDS?

At present there is no cure for HIV/AIDS, but there are medicines in allopathy to keep the disease under control.

ARE MOSQUITOES CARRIERS OF HIV ?

2010-10-02T08:00:00.001-07:00

DOES A MOSQUITO BITE SPREAD HIV/AIDS?

HIV/AIDS doesn't spread by mosquito bites. Epidemiologically, the incidence of HIV infection is the highest among the sexually active age group of 15 years to 49 years. However, mosquitoes bite persons of all age groups, and if they were a means of spreading HIV, the incidence of infection would be uniformly high among all age groups.

HIV does not survive or replicate inside the intestine of the mosquito, which is another reason to believe that mosquitoes cannot spread the HIV infection. Mosquitoes suck the blood of the individual they bite, but they do not suck blood from one and inject into another person.

WHERE TO GO FOR THE TEST !

2010-10-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

WHERE CAN ONE DO HIV TESTING?

HIV testing can be done at any good laboratory in nursing homes, private hospitals, government hospitals, and district hospitals.

It is important that before one does a HIV test, they go through counseling before the test as it prepares one for the HIV result and further management. Counseling should also be done after the result of the HIV test is known for interpretation of the test result and planning further action.

GETTING TESTED FOR THE VIRUS !

2010-10-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

WHO NEEDS TO DO A HIV TEST AND WHEN?

The following need a HIV test:
• Any person who has had unprotected penetrative anal, vaginal or oral sex, premaritally or extramaritally, or
• Multiple sexual partners, or
• Blood transfusion where testing is doubtful or not known, or
• Intravenous drugs and has shared needles, or
• Has a partner with multiple sexual relationships or intravenous drug abuse, or • A partner known to be HIV positive, or
• Recurrent episodes of illness or fever of unknown cause, and
• Any pregnant woman, who can take measures to prevent her child from getting HIV infection if she knows her HIV status.

The HIV test is done at three months, six months and one year after any of the above risks for HIV infection. In the event that a person has had multiple risks for HIV, it is advisable to undergo HIV counseling with a HIV test immediately, followed by abstinence or correct and consistent use of condoms from the time of penetration till the end of the sexual act. Getting intoxicated with alcohol or drugs should be strictly avoided, as one would not know if a condom has been used properly in such a state. This person will also need tests three months, six months and one year later.

BE SURE , YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT !

2010-10-02T07:56:00.000-07:00

WHAT ARE SAFE SEX PRACTICES?

Any sexual activity between two uninfected people is safe.

Any sexual activity, which doesn't involve the entry of HIV infected blood, semen, or vaginal fluids into the body is safe.

Any sexual activity, which completely eliminates the risk of infection, is safe sex, for example, correct and consistent use of condoms, which eliminates the exchange of possible HIV infected semen, seminal fluid or pre-ejaculatory fluid, or vaginal fluid gives protection against HIV/AIDS and most other STDs.

HOMOSEXUALS , BEWARE OF AIDS !

2010-10-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUALS AT HIGHER RISK OF HIV/AIDS?

Homosexual activity may involve anal penetration of the passive partner by the penis of the other partner. The rectum has a less robust lining than the vagina and is more easily damaged. This provides easy access for HIV from the infected semen to a passive partner or the HIV infected blood from the torn rectal lining of a passive partner can enter the penis through any ulcers or abrasions on the penis of the other partner.

Unprotected anal penetrative activity is a high risk for the spread of HIV because:

i. Condoms tear more easily during anal intercourse unless they are well lubricated. When one uses a well-lubricated condom correctly and consistently, from the time of penetration until the end of the act, it provides protection against HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.

ii. Male homosexuals tend to have more number of sexual partners and therefore naturally are at greater risk of picking up the HIV infection.

ORAL SEX & HIV AIDS !

2010-10-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

CAN ORAL SEX CAUSE HIV/AIDS?

Oral sex is less risky than penetrative sex. There are two kinds of oral sex:

i. Penis to mouth
ii. Vagina to mouth

Penis to mouth:
In this kind of oral sex, if a man is HIV infected then his seminal fluid/semen contains HIV virus. This HIV infected semen comes in contact with the partner's mouth and if she has bleeding gums or swallows it, then there is a chance of her getting infected with HIV.

When a woman is HIV infected, and if she has bleeding gums, this bloodstained saliva can infect the man if he has any cuts/ulcers on his penis.

Vagina to mouth:
When a woman is infected with HIV then her vaginal fluid has a high content of HIV. If her partner's mouth has bleeding gums, cuts, open wounds, or sores, there is a chance of the uninfected person getting HIV infection.

Oral sex can be safe if there is no direct contact with potentially infected body fluids, i.e., semen, seminal fluid, vaginal fluid, blood, or pus. If a condom is used correctly and consistently, in case of penis to mouth contact, there is no risk of spread of HIV.

HIV AIDS SPREADS LIKE THIS !

2010-10-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

HOW IS HIV/AIDS TRANSMITTED?

HIV/AIDS is transmitted by:
• Unprotected sexual intercourse (that is without using a condom) with a HIV infected person.
• Receiving HIV infected blood or blood products, using unsterilized needles and syringes, or during intravenous drug abuse when sharing needles and syringes with an HIV infected person.
• From a HIV infected pregnant mother to her baby (transmission by this route can be prevented by counseling the mother about the drugs available, hospitals who will care for her at delivery and infant feeding choices).

HIV/AIDS does not transmit by casual contact such as holding hands, body contact in crowded public places, working together, playing together, hugging, kissing on the cheeks or lightly on the lips, through saliva, sneezing, coughing, through mosquitoes and insect bites, food cooked by an HIV positive person, drinking from the same glass or cup, eating from the same plate, sharing the same telephones, bathrooms, toilets, beds, washing the clothes in the same bucket, and using the same swimming pool.

MASTURBATING FOR THAT SEXUAL RELEASE !

2010-10-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

DOES MASTURBATION CAUSE HIV/ AIDS?

Self-masturbation is totally safe. This is a form of stimulating one's own genitals for sexual gratification. It is a physiological phenomenon and brings down the sexual tension of an individual.

Masturbation does not cause harm to one's sex life. It does not decrease a person's sexual desires, nor does it cause any sexually transmitted disease or HIV/AIDS. It does not weaken one's health, neither does it bring down the sperm count.

Mutual masturbation or two people stimulating one another's genitals is safe, only if there is no exchange of HIV infected body fluids such as semen, pre-ejaculatory fluid, vaginal fluid, blood, pus, etc., or HIV infected fluids do not come in contact with fresh open wounds.

Masturbation brings down a person's sexual tension, but when a person masturbates often, it may hamper the person's daily activities. The thought of masturbation often lingers in the mind and the person prefers privacy. This may hamper communication and interaction between family members and friends and affect the individual's concentration on studies. The habit of excessive masturbation can be brought down by diverting one's mind from it by developing healthy hobbies such as playing energetic outdoor games, jogging, going for long walks, reading good books, etc. One can develop any hobby according to one's interest, as long as they can divert their mind from the thought of masturbating often.

USE THAT CONDOM THE RIGHT WAY !

2010-10-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS A MALE CONDOM? WHAT IS IT MADE OF? WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF USING IT? HOW DOES ONE USE IT?

A male condom is a sheath usually made of latex, or of polyurethane. It acts as a barrier by preventing direct exchange of body fluids, such as semen, pre-ejaculatory fluid, vaginal fluid, genital discharge, etc., between sexual partners, thus preventing the spread of HIV infection.

The procedure to use a condom:
• Check the expiry date before usage.
• Do not keep the condom in the back pocket or wallet heat makes the latex easy to tear.
• Do not unroll the condom before putting it on.
• Keep the condom in the packet till the penis is erect.
• When the penis is erect, hold the closed tip of the condom to keep out air and allow room for the semen to collect in.
• Place the condom on the end of the erect penis while holding the tip, and unroll the condom onto the erect penis all the way down to the base (up to the pubic hair). If it does not unroll easily, do not use the condom.
• During sex, make sure the condom stays in place.
• Pull out the penis immediately after ejaculation, before it becomes limp.
• Gently unroll the condom, taking care not to spill any semen.
• Dispose it promptly and properly by tying it up, wrapping it in paper and throwing it in the garbage or burying it.
• Do not reuse a condom. Use a fresh condom for every sexual act.
• Condoms provide almost 100% protection against HIV/AIDS and for a majority of sexually transmitted diseases, if used correctly and consistently, i.e., if a condom is used for every sexual act from the time of penetration till the completion of the act.

Precautions to be taken before using a condom:
• Store the condom in a cool place away from direct heat and pressure.
• Make sure that sharp objects do not tear a condom during use.
• Make sure that the air is expelled from the teat of the condom while wearing it, so as to prevent it from bursting during intercourse.

HIV AIDS - THE SLOW BUT SURE KILLER !

2010-10-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS HIV/AIDS?

HIV/AIDS is a chronic disease caused by a virus called the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). One gets HIV infection by indulging in unprotected sexual intercourse with an infected person, through HIV infected blood and blood products, or through the use of unsterilized needles and syringes. A HIV positive pregnant mother can give the infection to her newborn child during the pregnancy itself, during labour or by breastfeeding.

A HIV infected person can be perfectly normal and healthy, and remain asymptomatic for up to 8 to 12 years. AIDS is the last stage of HIV infection and usually manifests with symptoms such as fever, loss of weight, ulcers in the mouth, pneumonia, tuberculosis in parts other than the lung or in many parts of the body, diarrhea for more than one month, or brain fever. In people with AIDS the CD4 cell count (a kind of white blood cell which helps protect the person from infection) will be 200 cells/mm 3 of blood or below. The normal CD4 count is 500-1500 cells/mm

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SEX !

2008-12-13T07:07:00.000-08:00

Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate.

Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds.

Each day, there are over 120 million sexual intercourse taking place all over the world.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

There are men in Guam whose job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the 1st time.

INTERESTING SEX STATISTICS !

2008-12-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

Latino women have sex more often than either Blacks or Whites, who get down at roughly the same rate.

Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be turned on by the thought of anonymous sex as women who never got a bachelor’s degree.

70% of women who smoke have had more than 4 lovers in the last year while 60% of female non-smokers had none.

Women who respond to sex surveys in magazines like Cosmo may have 5 times as many lovers as typical women.

Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don’t.

White teenage girls who live with single mothers are 60% more likely to have sex before the age of 18 than those who live with both parents. The percentage is much lower for black girls.

Women who lost their virginity before their 18th birthday are likely to be twice as sexually active as women who don’t.

Women who have spent a night in jail are almost 50% more likely to have had more than 10 lovers in the past year than women with no criminal record.

Australian women are more likely to have sex on the first date.

Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy oral sex (giving and receiving) than high school dropouts.

National birthrates rise and fall with the height of heels.

In a bar or nightclub, the hemlines and necklines of unaccompanied women rise and fall (respectively) during ovulation.

Women who have a positive attitude towards sex tend to be less achievement oriented.

Black women are 50% more likely than White women to come every time they have sex.

20% of women who live with their boyfriends have more than one sex partner.

FIRST NIGHT SEDUCTIVE MEASURES !

2008-12-13T06:04:00.000-08:00

Try these methods on the first night and your partner will end up thanking you for your valued experience, rather than brooding over

Wedding jitters: OMG!
I'm no virgin!

your virginity

1. Load her with gifts:

Most men suffer from performance anxiety, added to that is the tension that your wife may understand you are not a virgin. Such thoughts often spoil the magic of the first night together. So indulge your better half as women love gifts. Shower her with the best of picks...right from saucy lingerie to classy jewellery. She'll be so engrossed in adoring her gift of love that analysing your chastity would be the last thing on her mind.

2. Act like a greenhorn:

In Rome, do as the Romans do! And when with a virgin, do as a virgin does. Try not acting like a well rehearsed 'sex-guru' or a 'sex-goddess'. Go slow...you have your entire life to try out those meticulous moves and painful positions.

3. Seduce him to madness:

OK...you have been a sex kitten. Use your sexperience now. Seduce him to such an extent that he's just there and wants 'it' and nothing else matters. Be it with your tantalising lingerie or the sexy tattoo you've got etched at a place that's accessible only to him- use your body to your best.

4. Prolong the foreplay:

A killer desire to jump into a steamy, hot romp is a clear indication of premature desperation. Resist this temptation and extend the sensuous foreplay. Touch, tickle, tease or taste... do anything to turn on him/her to an extent where the thought of virginity ceases to exist.

5. Get the angles wrong:

Yes, as opposed to the general rule of getting all the angles, moves and positions right. Make the wrong moves and motions and she'll know you are an anxious first timer, just like her. Maybe you will discover an altogether new position all by yourselves. The excitement of discovery will make your first night memorable.

6. Get loud:

As the popular adage goes, most first timers fear that first time could be quite painful. And pain makes one scream aloud. So, even if it's not your first time, getting your vocal chords active often acts as a pleasure heightener.

7. Put some sense in his mind:

If the above mentioned tricks fail to seduce him and he's still banking upon a 'broken-hymen' as the stamp of virginity, gently make him understand that women can lose their hymen for many reasons, without even being touched by a man. A modern man will understand that even swimming breaks the hymen.

More than virginity, accepting your partner the way he/she is. And take the wedding night as the beginning to a new journey. So here's to a passage of self discovery.

IS IT LOVE OR LUST ?

2008-12-13T05:56:00.000-08:00

Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones — it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all; which is also the reason why sexless marriages fail.

However, love is the most ennobling of human emotions — transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states.

But how can you tell the difference between lust and love? Read on to find out.

Is it love or lust?

It's lust if:

• You're totally focussed on looks and body
Even before you know your crush's name, you're already fantasising about them and drooling over their looks.

• You don't care about anything they have to say
It wouldn't make a difference to you if you never had a conversation with your crush. Furthermore, you don't bother to return calls promptly and you can easily go for days without talking to this person.

You don't mind checking out other hotties, or looking at other people, like friends, to satisfy your emotional needs.

• You spend most of your together time in 'action'
You make excuses not to spend time, unless it's in the confines of a room. And if they ask you for a favour, you say you're too busy. But if you have to be together and not have sex, you find them boring and look forward to doing something else like going shopping by yourself.

• You leave after sex
After having sex, you look for the easiest way to leave. No cuddling, no breakfast the next morning, just "I gotta go".

COUPLES WATCHING PORN !

2008-12-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

But what if your sex life is witnessing a lull where the action between the sheets is lifeless and thoroughly unimaginative. To battle this dry spell, a lot of modern couples are taking recourse to watching sexually explicit videos in an effort to spice up their conjugal relationships.

Pornography is as old as human kind and most couples sometime or the other have viewed some sort of pornography together. From "soft" porn scenes in Hollywood flicks like Unfaithful with Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez, or Body Heat starring Kathleen Turner and William Hurt to triple X rated movies, a lot of couples have taken recourse to sampling pornography. Observing couples in an erotic sex act has always been an eye opener for many as much as it forms a source of pleasure.

At times, pornography is a potent catalyst which has helped enhance the sexual act between married couples who may be ignorant about experimental sex moves. Coming to their rescue, where pornography has helped them master new techniques and "ways to pleasure" each other.

The viewing of pornography is no longer considered as "sinful” as getting aroused via suggestive visuals often leads to couples indulging each other in bold sexual moves. Instances of modern couples filming their love act like their Hollywood counterparts also abound. Even therapists seem to suggest that pornography as a unique a way to revive sexual desire.

The only problems arise when both partners are not open to watching porn together. Take the case of Nishta (name changed), 28, a product manager in Mumbai who tolerates her man's habit of watching pornography, but claims to feeling deeply insecure with his penchant for the perfectly sculpted bodies of the porn stars.

She says,” My husband told me lots of his friends' girlfriends have gone in for plastic surgery to get that perfect hot bod. He claims that I'll possess an awesome body. But, I'm unsure whether surgery will improve our sex life. My husband is selfish sexually and I blame his obsession with pornography for it".

SEXUAL FANTASIES - 2

2008-12-13T05:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a little tidbit to keep in mind. The next time you hear 'outrageous' sexual fantasies, remember that not all of it has to be taken literally. See these fantasies as an act of unburdening on your partner's part and respect them for that.

States Amrita Choudhary, married and working with an MNC, "Ours was an arranged marriage, so it took me some time to open up to my husband. Initially, of course it was very difficult. I kept wondering what he would think about me. But fortunately, he simply heard me out one day. And since then I have had nights of sexual adventure."

For others, talking about their sexual fantasies also clears a lot of doubts in their head. And for the Indian women it spells sexual liberation. "Women in our culture have been taught not to speak about sex. So most of them have had not-so-great experiences.

But with the coming of age of women, a lot of these desires have remarkably changed. Today, a woman can demand whatever she wants and enjoy her body, as well her partner's without taboo," says Tiwari.

SHARING SEXUAL FANTASIES - 1

2008-12-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

According to Wendy Maltz, sex therapist and co-author of the book 'Private Thoughts: The power of women's fantasies', it is best to be on your guard while testing risky waters. That's because too often, says Maltz, there's a lack of understanding about what it means to share our dark desires.

To minimise misunderstandings, she suggests setting some guidelines before agreeing to reveal erotic fantasies. "Ensure you have a mutual understanding of each others' objectives. Are you doing it simply to learn about what each other's private sexual thoughts are, or are you creating a menu of the type of sexual activities you want to try, " she suggests.

Says management student Gokul Sharma, "Sharing your deepest sexual fantasies requires a lot of trust. I often had to keep my fantasies to myself because my ex-girlfriend did not like trying them out. She would often come up with excuses of being tired and on more than an occasion refered to me as a weirdo. So I decided it was time to move on."

Maltz points out that even when both partners willingly reveal their sexual fantasies to one another, there's no guarantee that the outcome will be a positive meeting of the mind or body. Psychologist Suparna Tiwari explains, "Often the content of our sexual fantasies could be quite a turn off. It takes a lot of love and patience between the partners to understand these fantasies, especially when it is beyond the norms of common sexual practices."

SEX TOYS FOR THE MIDDLE AGED ?

2008-12-13T05:42:00.000-08:00

A ‘tasteful’ range of new generation sex toys is being designed for middle-aged 
couples.

And the brain behind ‘Relationship Care’ is Dutch multinational Koninklijke Philips Electronics (Royal Philips Electronics).  

  The company said it would launch the range in Selfridges and Boots stores.  

  Jayson Otke, a Philips spokesman, said the products are designed to enhance couples'' sexual well-being, and are specifically target the hitherto "neglected" group of sex toy users aged between 35 and 55.   

  Otke said the three new products will be called collectively the Intimate Massage Range, consisting of the Warm Intimate Massage, the Warm Massage and the Intimate Dual Massage.   

  "They are attractive to look at, targeted at the over-35 market, designed like beautiful stones with contours that vibrate and in a tasteful purple case,"    Telegraph    quoted him, as saying.   

  "You would not be embarrassed to leave the product in full view of the family. The products are marketed for couples, are none-penetrative, not phallic shaped and are not meant to replace the partner but to enhance the sex life of both partners,” he added.  

  The company is so confident about its new venture that it is predicting a 70 million euro profit in its first 12 months of trading.

YOUNG GIRLS HAVE MORE SEXUAL PARTNERS !

2008-12-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

Researchers have carried out the study and found that young women are more promiscuous than men and the average 21- year-old is notching up for nine sexual partners as compared to seven in case of males.

In fact, they have based their findings on a survey of 2,000 people. The poll revealed that young women are twice as likely to cheat and more than 70% have had a one-night stand, 'The Daily Telegraph' reported.

In fact, according to the survey, one in four young women has slept with more than ten people, compared with one in five men who had done the same.

What's more interesting is that the survey found that few young women today hold to traditional views on sexual morality -- just one per cent of young women said they would want to get married before having sex, with the majority losing their virginity at the age of 16.

More than half said they were not in love with their first partner, and only one in three believe it is important to be in love with someone before going to bed with them.

LOVE MANTRAS OF A SPECIAL KIND !

2008-12-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered about the passion mantra of couples who keep throwing suggestive glances at each other at social dos?

Well, they don't actually possess any magical potion, but keep their love quotient strong by making an extra effort to spice up their love formula. "Any time you throw in a surprise, be it a last-minute, long drive plan, an offbeat date at an unexplored destination, an unexpected gift or acting extra bold in bed, it sends a signal from your brain's reward center which in turn stimulates the rest of your brain, including the areas that register love and bonding," says Dr. Sanjay Chugh.

Catching your partner off guard not only makes them feel lucky, but also in love. Here's how to use your imagination and give a sexy twist to your love life...

Amend that accent
Try anything from Haryanvi, Punjabi, Bengali to Italian, French or Russian when whispering sweet nothings to him or when screaming in the heat of passion. To hear a strange accent from your partner when the sexual climax is building up is an implausible turn-on. Don't bother much about what sense you are making at that time, your partner won't bother much to comprehend. Just pick the slang from local channels and get going.

Text message
Anticipation is the ultimate aphrodisiac. When going out for a family get-together, text your partner something that will make him or her lust for you all evening. Either he/she will cancel the party or they will try to stay close to you to feel the convivial ecstasy of the night ahead. Irrespective of whether you are in a long-term relationship or have recently started dating, your mate will love this superseductive surprise. You can send an erotic text listing your fantasies or simply MMS the photo of your bed with a "Meet me here after dinner...." teaser. The rationale lies in the fact that if you know your partner is up to something, it will overwhelm you with desire.

Honey! I have your remote control
This one's especially crafted for the girls! We all know what happens when guys glue their eyes to the idiot box, watching repeated telecasts of their favourite hockey, cricket and soccer matches. Surreptitiously, take away the remote while he is still stuck to channel surfing, sneak into the room behind him and turn off the telly. He may get awfully annoyed, but let him turn around to see you standing there in a sexy pose or clad in tantalising lingerie. You can also hide a love note at the places he is most likely to look for that devilish remote.

Pillow talk!
If you are one of those shy kinds whose heart starts racing the moment a little crudeness enters the bedroom, you can surprise your partner by being overtly expressive and talking suggestively. Remember, when you talk kinky, you are enacting a fantasy; and not merely surprising (or shocking) your partner and checking his/her comfort level with the whole idea. However, don't start bombarding the other with hardcore crude statements, instead, start by saying tamer things, using tamer language, for instance, "I've been wanting you all day..."

SHE'S GIVING YOU THE GREEN SIGNAL !

2008-11-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

She makes all the right moves  

  Believe it or not, but non-verbal flirting  gestures flow freely when a woman is interested in a man. Such signals may range from her pointing in your direction with her foot or shoulders, tossing her hair to mirroring your body movements.

  Hot Tip:

Communication specialist Heer Wadhera explains, "If a female licks her lips while talking to you, she is sending out a clear signal that she is actually looking forward to something more than just talking to you. Similarly, if your girl plays with her jewellery, strokes her glass or freezes her eyes on you while talking, she is anticipating a date invite." 

  Adds Vinay Sood, a creative manager at an advertising agency, "Observe the way she looks at you. If she looks at you when you are not looking at her and turns her gaze away when you make eye contact, she is very much interested in you. A warm smile is also a sure shot open invitation and an indication that she is open to cultivating a deep friendship with you." If you become conscious of such signals, you can be sure whether or not your love interest is ready for your proposal.

DECODING FEMALE BODY LANGUAGE !

2008-11-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

Does she keep bumping into you? 

  "Raima and I were in the same office. She used to put in a lot of effort so that I noticed her sometimes on the way to the restroom or in the corridors. She deliberately used to pass by where I was seated, though the restrooms were nowhere near me. Somehow, our timings matched so much that I use to find her in the canteen, at the coffee machine, in the parking lot; needless to say this was all planned by her. This was a very clear and open invite, I finally mustered up the courage to ask her out for a dinner date one day and her eagerness shocked me," chuckles Manish Sharma married to Raima since the past two years.  

  Hot Tip:   

If you suddenly start finding your girl just about everywhere, chances are that she is thinking ahead to make sure she runs into you. It's only a matter of time before your eyes meet. What she's doing is trying hard to make you observe her and give you a chance to make that vital first move. However, the trouble with this 'she-approach' is that men are sometimes ignorant about what's going on in a woman's mind space and as a result, they let pass a lot of chance. So, the next time a woman starts appearing frequently in your way, be observant, for she is most likely doing it on purpose.

YOUR SEXY NEW ACCENT !

2008-11-17T07:04:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered about the passion mantra of couples  who keep throwing suggestive glances at each other at social 
Use your imagination! 

  dos?  

  Well, they don't actually possess any magical potion, but keep their love quotient strong by making an extra effort to spice up their love   formula. "Any time you throw in a surprise, be it a last-minute, long drive plan, an offbeat date at an unexplored destination, an unexpected gift or acting extra bold in bed, it sends a signal from your brain's reward center which in turn stimulates the rest of your brain, including the areas that register love and bonding," says Dr.  Sanjay Chugh. 

  Catching your partner off guard  not only makes them feel lucky, but also in love. Here's how to use your imagination and give a sexy twist to your love life...

  Amend that accent  

  Try anything from Haryanvi, Punjabi, Bengali to Italian, French or Russian when whispering sweet nothings to him or when screaming in the heat of passion . To hear a strange accent from your partner when the sexual climax is building up is an implausible turn-on. Don't bother much about what sense you are making at that time, your partner won't bother much to comprehend. Just pick the slang from local channels and get going.

WHAT DID YOU SAY , DEAR !

2008-11-17T07:02:00.000-08:00

Pillow talk!  

  If you are one of those shy kinds whose heart starts racing the moment a little crudeness enters the bedroom, you can surprise your partner by being overtly expressive and talking suggestively. Remember, when you talk kinky, you are enacting a fantasy; and not merely surprising (or shocking) your partner and checking his/her comfort level with the whole idea. However, don't start bombarding the other with hardcore crude statements, instead, start by saying tamer things, using tamer language, for instance, "I've been wanting you all day..."

REMOTE CONTROL HIM !

2008-11-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

Honey! I have your remote control 

  This one's especially crafted for the girls! We all know what happens when guys glue their eyes to the idiot box, watching repeated telecasts of their favourite hockey, cricket and soccer matches. Surreptitiously, take away the remote while he is still stuck to channel surfing, sneak into the room behind him and turn off the telly. He may get awfully annoyed, but let him turn around to see you standing there in a sexy pose or clad in tantalising lingerie. You can also hide a love note at the places he is most likely to look for that devilish remote.

SEX SURPRISES - SMS OR IS IT MMS !

2008-11-17T06:54:00.001-08:00

Text message  

  Anticipation is the ultimate aphrodisiac. When going out for a family get-together, text your partner something that will make him or her lust for you all evening. Either he/she will cancel the party or they will try to stay close to you to feel the convivial ecstasy of the night ahead. Irrespective of whether you are in a long-term relationship or have recently started dating , your mate will love this superseductive surprise. You can send an erotic text listing your fantasies or simply MMS the photo of your bed with a "Meet me here after dinner...." teaser. The rationale lies in the fact that if you know your partner is up to something, it will overwhelm you with desire. 

SEX SIESTA FIESTA !

2008-11-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

Napping tapping 

  It's a common occurrence to see your partner falling asleep time and again while you're in the mood to rock the boat. But such redundant naps in between sexual interactions often reroute the mood, ruining the sexual chemistry. Kanika Motwani, married for 3 years, complains, "Both of us come home tired and when it's time for sex, my husband loves his sleep more. Forget any foreplay or after sex moments, he sometimes falls off to sleep in between the actual act. It really annoys me."

  Hot tip:   

It's always a wise idea to grab a sound sleep after sex and not let it come in way of seeking pleasure. Go for a shower before you make-out to retain freshness of body and mind.

SEX WITH A DUMBO !

2008-11-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

The silent quotient 

  How would you feel if your partner remained quiet throughout the lovemaking act? Not a great feeling of course! "I often feel that my wife considers sex like a routine chore that doesn't interest her whole heartedly. Neither does she appreciate any act nor does she take the initiative to tell me in case I am going wrong. I just don't enjoy such a one sided intercourse," shares Varun Chhabra.

  Acts of holding back your moans and not uttering a word during sexual acts often imparts the impression sex being forced on the silent partner. Once your partner observes this, it'll surely kill his/her mood.

  Hot tip:  

Remember, your partner loves hearing you moaning, screaming and at times shouting, to know that you're having a 'good time'. Don't keep numb during the act. "Communication is the utmost requirement during sex. Discuss things that you like or dislike and what ignites your passion. Women should not be cautious of their expressions or hesitate in guiding their husbands. This educates their partner further," opines Dr. Aruna.

THOSE SELF STIMULATING GALS !

2008-11-17T06:47:00.001-08:00

Self Stimulation 

  "I thought only men enjoy stimulating their private parts. However, when I saw my wife doing it to herself, especially during sex, it wasn't a good feeling at all. Every time I would try to arouse her, she would object and resort to her own way of stimulation," says Keshav Khurana.  Such gestures can irk your partner to the fullest and at the same time, distract them from the actual act. 

  Hot tip:   

Avoid touching or rubbing your organs repeatedly, let your partner have the privilege to arouse you by touching your erotic zones. "Inflammation or infection in or around the sex organ causes itching, so ensure you wash your body well before having sex. In case of any fungal infection, necessary ointments can be applied. You can also consume anti-allergic medicines a few hours before indulging in sex. This will reduce itching at that time so that you can enjoy uninterrupted pleasure," explains Dr. Kothari.

NAILS TELL THEIR OWN TALES !

2008-11-17T06:43:00.000-08:00

Nailed

Many couples often, although unintentionally, end up scratching each other's bodies with their sharp nails. It may be an act

of pleasure for you, but your partner might not be enjoying the pain as much. "I hate girls with long nails and unfortunately my wife has the same trait, it is a misery. Every time we have sex, I am with red deep marks on my back and neck, which are at times visible. Come on, how can this be a loving gesture?" questions Yatin Chawla.

While many couples enjoy an aggressive partner, certain gestures are not really welcome. Giving love bites even before your partner is aroused, often leads to pain and discomfort and might even lessen the chances of any further action between the sheets.

Hot tip:

The simplest way out of this situation is to cut properly file and manicure your nails so that they do not lead to painful scratches on your partner. Try caressing your partner's body with your soft and well moisturised hands and palms to avoid any contact with your nails. As for biting, make sure your partner is fully excited before you bite their ear, shoulders, neck or any other body part.

ARE YOU FOR REAL !

2008-11-17T06:41:00.000-08:00

Oops! I farted 

  It may sound like a marginal interruption, but if it comes in the way of pleasure, it's sure to marr the excitement. "It was a horrifying nightmare. I knew my wife had medical implications due to which she suffered gastritis, but it was a highly disturbing when we were sexually engaged and I stopped enjoying sex with her anymore," recalls a young guy .

  Hot tip:   

Make sure your digestive system is in place before you indulge in a make out session. "Avoid potatoes, pulses, peas, and bakery items that enhance gas formation (gastritis). Also, we recommend you to consume a digestive pill or opt for a brisk walk after the meal to make the food settle down completely," recommends Dr. Kothari.

RECALL THAT NATURE ' S CALL !

2008-11-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

Nature's call 

  This blooper is the mother of all sex bummers faced by couples. Often confused with a squirting orgasm, it is related to the pressure applied on the bladder due to sexual stimulation. A problem commonly faced by women, this often leaves the male partner feeling half pleasured. Recalls  a young housewife , "I often feel like urinating half way through the act and this creates a problem for my man, besides being unhealthy." 

  Hot tip:   

Never force yourself to reach a climax if you're feeling like relieving yourself. "The nerves that are stimulated during an erection are quite close to those of the urinal bladder and sometimes an overlapping can result in urinating during sex. So make sure you have attended nature's call before you gear up for the act of sex. In case there are any other organic problems, certain medications can help deal with them," elucidates Dr. Prakash Kothari, a leading sexologist.

DID YOU SAY SEX WITH YOUR " EX " ?

2008-11-17T06:32:00.000-08:00

Sex with my ex 

  Imagine screaming your ex's name, or your secret lover's pet name, just when your partner is about to climax. Damn! It can't get worse than this. "I had an arranged marriage and it was a blunder that I did on my honeymoon. I yelled my ex's name in pleasure and my hubby was very frustrated hearing another man's name. Believe me, we didn't have sex for months, until I convinced him that there's nothing between me and my ex now," shares  a newly wed (31), who got married last year.

  Such an occurence is likely to make your partner feel estranged, besides injecting a feeling of suspicion in your love life.

  Hot tip:  

Though fantasies are an essential part of a gratifying sex life, expressing fantasies in such unexpected ways can often put end to your relationship. "A lot of women fantasise about their idol or a past lover while having sex as it turns them on. But it's important to remember that sex is an emotional experience too, so don't appear to be emotionally weak and let your past lover/fantasy hover in your mind space while becoming intimate with your present beau. This causes a discord in your relationship. A combination of prayanam, gym and a job (PGJ) is the best way to keep away from a fertile imagination," suggests Dr. Aruna Broota, clinical psychologist.

ART OF SEDUCTION !

2008-11-17T06:27:00.000-08:00

Forget those cheesy pick-up lines and expensive colognes to impress a woman. The winning formula to land a hot date requires nothing but a

Wanna seduce your girl?

straight look into her eyes accompanied by a light touch on her arm, according to a new study.

The study,by scientists at Aberdeen University, has found that two-thirds of women gave a nod to dance with a man who requested for a dance by resting his hand on her arm for a second or two.

And those who did not comply with the trick and kept their hands by their side while asking the same question had a success rate of only 50 percent. In fact, women also preferred to give their phone-number to a man who touched their arm as he approached them in the street.

Published in Focus Magazine, the study said that touching makes a man appear dominant, and henceforth more attractive to the opposite sex.

In fact, researcher Dr Ben Jones said that making eye contact also indicates interest in a woman, but only if it is genuine. "Smiling can make you more attractive but it is worth bearing in mind that faking a smile is quite tricky," the Telegraph quoted Jones, as saying.

And those men, who find it hard to fake a smile, are advised by Jones to take extra care of their skin, or stay amidst other women to appear more appealing.

There have been innumerable studies on finding the perfect seduction technique. Countless books, manuals (read the Kamasutra) have been dedicated to understanding what drives a man, and woman crazy. Tales of seduction, and seductresses have continued to feed the fantasies of men and women throughout history . While the world tries to master this art, here are some seduction fundamentals that are sure to send your pulses racing....

SEX TURN OFFS & TURN ONS !!

2008-11-17T06:20:00.000-08:00

Enough has been said about what women and men want when it comes to sex but how about what they ‘do

Be cautious! This may turn-off your partner!

not want’?

Yes, not most couples would know that their little ‘unintentional’ acts can prove to be really big turn-off for their partners.

  Those cosy moments that are meant to bring ultimate joy and pleasure in bed can go drastically wrong before you even realise what’s happening.

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM ACTUALLY?

  Picture this: Your lover is caressing you all over, trying to build up the heat and suddenly you decide to ask: How was your day at work? Or your lover is trying best to control himself to ensure that you are equally satisfied and you abruptly remind him of the protection pill that you forgot. What a turn-off indeed!

Wait! It’s not only women who tend to irk their men by these unwanted gestures. Men are equally responsible for dampening things in the bedroom by their little acts – such as going off to sleep immediately after the act or not bothering with foreplay at all, leaving her to work on that herself.

Any sexual act holds a certain meaning and has its own significance for the partners. When we are deeply involved in any kind of work, interruptions are always seen as irritating, annoying and frustrating and it’s no different when it comes to making love. Refusals could very easily be interpreted as rejections, which can directly hit the person's self - esteem, and unfortunately pave the way for him/her to feel inadequate and unwanted.

Sometimes you can put off your partner without even realising where you went wrong. It could be a physical, mental or an emotional reason. They can include: Fear of pregnancy and constant reminders of it during lovemaking, pretending to have a headache, blatantly pointing out on some body flaw, avoiding sex by putting it on having a tiring day at work, insisting on conditions of keeping the light off or not stripping completely, and so on.

  And if this is not enough, there are several other turn-offs that include hygiene issues, acts and positions in bed, thoughts that rule your mind during sex ...the list is endless.

Couples today tend to get involved in their own lives so much so that they forget what the other partner wants. Specially while having sex, they can’t just talk about their tiredness and hectic day. You have to take out quality time to enjoy without interruptions.

THE WAY OUT

Now that you’ve got the point about what not to do to turn off your partner in bed, how do you go about it?

Expand your sexual horizons and learn new ways to turn each other on. Some ideas may seem like basic romance but let's be honest and ask when was the last time you actually practised them? The only way for this to work is to put the ideas into practice.

Understand that love making is a very intimate act where people connect with each other physically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually. Respect each others needs, wants and desires and mutual satisfaction at every level is important to keep the fire burning! Try to understand what your partner enjoys, what is exciting for him, what stimulates him and toying with certain new ideas and concepts would help the couple look forward to those love-making sessions. 

SEX MYTHS BUSTED - THE TRUTH !

2008-11-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Sexual gratification lies between the two ears rather than the legs. It is the strength that matters and not the length. More than quantity,it

is quality of the sex act that matters

Sexual myths abound, but the facts still remain lesser known. As sex continues to be deemed as taboo in our society, not to be talked about overtly, nagging doubts about sex is what makes people inquisitive as they end up picking up myths from random sources. These pervasive myths can act as the biggest wreckers, ruining the fun of a sexual act. While nobody knows where the erroneous beliefs originated from, these myths still make their way into every bedroom. Let's hear from experts about the subject...

Dr. Prakash Kothari, foremost sexologist and advisor, World Association for Sexual Health, says, "It's strange when 7 out of 10 patients with impotency and premature ejaculation issues attribute their problem to the masturbation habits. This is such a prevalent myth."

Recalling another such instance Dr. Shivani Sachdev, fertility expert, Phoenix Hospital, shares, "Patients come to me with problems of conceiving. They have blindly believed that anal sex would help them get pregnant. "

The most common myth - 'size does matter' finds its clarification in a logical explanation that states the normal length of a male organ is 4 inches and the sexual length 6 inches. Establishing another reason for this myth, Rita Gangwani, image enhancer and personality architect says, "Most men associate their value with their organ size and also with their macho personality, thus they erroneously believe that the dimensions of their penis are of great importance for sexual techniques and gratification."

These scientifically incorrect notions disrupt one's sexual life in a big way. They lead to psychological symptoms of anxiety, physical symptoms, and most importantly affect one's sexual life adversely. Understanding the facts behind sex is of utmost importance. "Wrong notions paralyse the sexual response between partners. With so many baseless perceptions in one's mind, a level of curiosity creeps in and one can't be anxious and sensuous at the same time," exclaims Dr. Kothari.

Rita Gangwani elaborates, "When you operate under false assumptions, you are not able to give your mate what he truly wants and needs. People who rely too much on popular perceptions of sex miss out on that extra dimension."

So, the next time you find yourself trapped in a web of myths related to 'sex', talk about the things you hold to be true around sex and sexuality frankly with your partner for a satisfying sex life.

OFFICE ACTION - " BACK STAIRCASE " !

2008-11-17T06:13:00.000-08:00

Back staircase: 

Probably the best for those short/tall couples. The dingy, smoky alley suits your appetite just fine in the dead of the night. "The staircase is actually like a secret pathway which people hardly visit after office hours. It's also away from the prying eyes of the guards and other curious office-goers. I have had many of my colleagues narrating adventures they've had on the stairs. There was one who told me that the unevenness of the staircase actually worked as a turn on. And the best part is, no one gets to hear all the din you create," points out a software professional.

  Caution tip:   

The staircase won't be fun anymore if you slip and manage to hurt your back. So watch out for safety while being engrossed in the exercise. Beware of secret onlookers who may take the opportunity to create a porn video out of your act and post it on the net or circulate among colleagues.

OFFICE MAKEOUT - " THE ATM " !

2008-11-17T06:09:00.000-08:00

The ATM :

This cosy, air conditioned space tucked away at a corner of the office is a safe haven to give vent to your sexual urges. With not many people visiting it after a certain time, it lends a sense of privacy. Says  an ad professional , "Often due to work pressure and hectic schedules, people are left with hardly any time for themselves. So a quick session rarely hurts. As for me, I did try to cosy up to my colleague 
 at the ATM. It's not just private but also gives you enough time to complete your sexapade, as you always have the excuse of the ATM getting stuck."

  Caution tip:

Dahlings, there are so many CCTVs inside the ATMs these days. So just watch out or you may be caught in manners you won't enjoy once you check them out for yourself. Keep your eyes split wide open or else the money  won't bail you out of the situation.

OFFICE MAKE OUT - BOSS'S DESK !

2008-11-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

Boss' desk/cabin: 

"A classic idea. There' nothing like having a quickie on your boss' desk/table. Its like having a high like no other. "That's truly one of "The" places where you must make out if you can. It's not so much about the place, as it's the vital info that this room is your boss' cabin that adds to the sexual high. More so if your boss is ultra strict, just getting into some action there is the ultimate revenge tool."

Caution tip:    

The flip side about this is your Boss could walk in any time on you. Or any of your superiors could. So unless you are very sure about his/her absence, it would be wise if you look elsewhere for your enjoyment. Cause then it wouldn't be just about saving your face but also your career. 

"Such things are very embarrassing and thus the employer is  left with no option but to ask the  employee 
 to leave. However, employers do provide every one with a set of guidelines stating very clearly the dos and don'ts. At times the employees are merely reprimanded and allowed to go but if the conduct remains the same, then action is initiated." 

FINALLY SAYING " I LOVE YOU " ! !

2008-11-17T05:39:00.000-08:00

Saying 'I love you' may be the most natural thing to say when you are dating , but once those words are said, you take your relationship to a whole new plane. There is a world of difference between 'I like you' and 'I love you'. It's time you use them with caution.

They are definitely not the golden words to say when...

The drinks are talking

It definitely may be easy to get those words out and loosen your guard when you are drunk, but the question is if you really mean them, or is it just the vodka that you downed showing its colour!? It is hard to believe anything out of some one who's been hammered. Save the proposals for the pre-party bit. That way, you'll have an even better reason to rejoice.

The love mist is between your eyes

Murmuring sweet nothings into his ear may set the mood for a session of rolling on the mat. But, along with those nothings, it is quite natural to yell 'I love you!' This may leave him baffled into thinking, is it really him that you love?! Don't get heady and impulsive; this will only blur the lines of distinction between love and lust. Hold those reigns, and if you feel the same even when the lust fog lifts you have found true love!

Avoid voicing your inner feelings through the telephone, e- mail or instant messages. Simply because, it is a thrill killer. It surely is a chicken thing to do. It doesn't show how serious you are. Also spare those emoticons, they are hardly romantic !

Let him see it in your eyes, and judge for himself about how serious you are. If you are indeed serious, there is nothing like looking him in the eye, holding his hand and professing how you feel.

CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART ! REALLY ?

2008-11-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

Many adults find it difficult to resist when the sparks fly and they fall again for childhood sweethearts. First loves are indelibly etched into our minds, scientists say, but they warn that rekindling that old flame could have lasting, irreversible consequences,tearing apart marriages  and leaving a trail of devastation.

  "It's not your average affair" said Nancy Kalish, a California State University-Sacramento psychologist, who has studied such relationships for 14 years. "It goes from the phone to the hotel. It's that quick." Jeannie T. knows the feeling. "It was like lightning struck when we saw each other" she said, after bumping into sweetheart Ben at a 40th school reunion in Joplin, Missouri some months ago.

  They hadn't seen each other since Ben waved goodbye on a train platform in 1965 as he shipped off to Vietnam, but as soon as they saw each other again, the sparks flew. "He knelt down at my side and told me that leaving me was the hardest thing he had ever done," said Jeannie, now a Florida real estate agent.

  A kind of panic set in, said 60-year-old Jeannie. "I needed to tell him what he meant to me. "However, she missed her chance at the reunion, when Ben's wife of 37 years strolled in on their confession. That's where the Internet came in. Mike T., Jeannie's husband  of 13 years, says as soon as his wife returned from the reunion, she and Ben were burning up the Internet, first by email and then via text messaging.

  Researchers say their experiences are typical of adolescent sweethearts who fall head-over-heels in love again decades later. Adolescent hormones carve those first loves into our brains, said Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of the book “Why We Love". The lost love's voice or touch triggers wanting, needing, craving in the same spots in the brain as those affected by cocaine.

  Sounds like addiction? "It is more powerful than addiction," said Helen. Donna Hanover knows the feeling. After being dumped by her husband Rudolph Giuliani, she found another love, rekindling an adolescent romance  after 30 years. She says," I felt an immediate chemistry between us, just as there had been when we were kids". She has published her story with 49 others, including clothing designer Nicole Miller, actors Carol Channing and Suzanne Pleshette in "My Boyfriend's Back".

SINGLE ? CHECK THIS OUT !

2008-11-17T05:18:00.000-08:00

You know you are a great catch but can’t figure out why you are are still single. Suggestions for what you could do to find 
Looking for love?

  a man. 

  Okay, you really and surely want to be in a relationship but find yourself eating out alone? You know you are far better than anyone of them, yet they all have a boyfriend unlike you. You wouldn’t have realised it, but for all you know you could be engaging in a little self-sabotage when it comes to finding your special someone . You could be giving the impression , “I’m not interested,” when you actually are.. So, here’s how you could reach the “I’m taken” status. 

You’re unconsciously ignoring your relationship needs  

  Many people have a lot to do yet they are open to relationships and are more than willing to make space for one. Some tell-tale signs: Every time someone extends an invitation your some unfinished project on your desk convinces you to say, “Not tonight, but once my workload lightens up, I will join you. Or, you find yourself saying things like, “I’ll start really looking for someone once I get my promotion/finances in order” (which, alas, may not be any time soon). 

  Solution:  

  You need to have an honest chat with yourself: Do you really want a romantic relationship in your life right now? If yes, make at least one step toward carving out some space for it. Go out and meet friends, sign into an online dating. And don’t let a few bad dates drive you back to your workaholic ways—once you have a good one and see what you’ve been missing, you’ll understand what all the hubbub is about.

  You don’t think before you speak  

  Agreed, in today’s high-paced life you can’t afford to waste time thinking whether the person is right for you or not. So, you give it three seconds to decide ! Like Leena Bajaj, a young executive with a private bank confesses, “It takes me just five seconds to decide if I want to have more conversation with a guy or not.” But the fact is most of us aren’t great at making a killer first impression . “It sure could explain why I haven’t had a date in a year,” Leena continues. “I don’t give men a chance to show me who they are. A little patience would probably help.”

SINGLE - READY TO MINGLE !

2008-11-17T05:13:00.000-08:00

At every wedding, party or dinner one attends, if one’s relatives are around, the proverbial question, ‘So, when are you going to get married?’ comes tumbling out. It is the question that has dogged single people — perhaps more than any other — ever since the invention of the prying mother. But now, tired of being marginalised and scrutinised by a wedded society, unattached individuals are throwing a cultural curveball. They’re announcing that they’re happy just as they are, while living and loving every single moment of it!

Being single has its pros and cons. While it’s great to get attention wherever you go and not carry the baggage of a relationship, when you come home,  you feel a sense of loneliness. The small fights, making up and surprises are what makes anyone’s world go round. But your sense of freedom is restricted. So if you do fall in love, be prepared for the side effects.

  So, are single people averse to the ties of a relationship? We think not. A person who enjoys being single, is not opposed to being in a relationship, but prefers not to date just for the sake of being attached.

More educated, economically self-sufficient, and socially independent than ever before, individuals can afford to be choosy. They can wait for a soulmate, and even turn down prospects in the process. Till then they find it perfectly swell to spend time hanging out with friends, and enjoying some quality alone time. As for the physical aspect of a relationship, well, we have progressed from being a city that sleeps early to one that sleeps alone or around, and that’s saying something!

SEX FOODS - STIMULATE YOUR SEX DRIVE !

2008-11-17T04:55:00.000-08:00

 Caffeine 

Whether in coffee, tea, sodas or chocolate, caffeine, up to a certain point, can get your motor going. 

Honey 

Known for giving you a quick boost, sugar in its pure honey form can boost your energy. Honey also fuels sperm cells. 

Chocolate 

Besides containing caffeine, chocolate contains two compounds believed to have sex-enhancing effects: anandamide and phenylethylamine (PEA). (PEA is a natural form of amphetamine, an antidepressant). This sweet also contains theobromine, which increases endorphin production, making for a good high.

Herbs 

Helping lovers relax and ease anxieties, some herbs are seen as having physical effects that can make you feel randier and increase blood flow to the genitals. Certain ones, like lemon balm, a type of mint plant that''s available in tea form, can relax the nervous system, soothing you while elevating your mood. 

Spices 

Some spices, like cayenne pepper, can get you hot quite literally by increasing your heart rate and body temperature. Some also mirror signs of sexual arousal, like a body flush, perspiration and plumper lips. Certain spices can be consumed in capsule, tincture or concentrated drop form a half an hour before sex to boost circulation.

Garlic 

Because it contains allicin, garlic increases blood flow to the sexual organs, which can certainly help get things going in the bedroom.

L-arginine 

L-arginine is a naturally occurring amino acid that is a precursor to nitric oxide, the molecule that is responsible for promoting circulation by relaxing the blood vessels. 

Asian Ginseng 

Commonly used to treat sexual dysfunction in males, ginseng has direct effects on the central nervous system and genital tissues. Evidence indicates the Chinese herb can facilitate erection by increasing blood flow to the penis. 

Alcohol  

Liquor is known to help lovers feel relaxed and in the mood, in large part because people have such strong beliefs that liquor makes for libido. 

Ambrien 

Found in the digestive tract of some sperm whales, this waxy substance is used in Arab countries, but is illegal in the U.S. Ambrien is said to increase a male's libido by increasing the concentration of several hormones, including testosterone. 

Seafood 

Resembling female genitals, any slippery, succulent seafood is held as an aphrodisiac. Also, the word "aphrodisiac" comes from Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of beauty and love, who, like fish, comes from the sea.

GOOD SEX - GOOD HEALTH !

2008-11-17T04:51:00.000-08:00

  A happy sexual life with your partner not only gets you in shape with better skin texture and silken tresses, it also burns extra calories, keeps you fit, combats asthma, relieves headache, reduces depression and tranquilises your mind. From make-up experts, hair stylists, sexologists and fitness connoisseurs – there's a common consensus that a vigourous sexual life leads to a healthy life – both physically and emotionally. We get them share more on this... 

  There have been several notions stating that 'sex' produces certain hormones that bring happiness, which lead to a fit body and a healthy mind. Shedding some light on this, Dr. Sanjay Chugh, specialist on sexual issues, states, "Sex contributes to general good health. Any sexual intimacy that is enjoyable and pleasurable promotes well being by providing several physical and psychological benefits. It is believed that sex boosts chemicals in the body that protects us against diseases. Research also suggests that sex and masturbation can help ease joint and muscle pain, combat depression, promote heart health and lengthen one's life span." 

SEX RECIPE - FEEL GOOD !

2008-11-17T04:48:00.002-08:00

‘How do I look?’

This worry often stands in the way of really enjoying sex with your partner. We’re not all meant to look like supermodels, and it’s ok if you don’t. Your partner might not think you look bad, even if you agonise over the fact that you don’t look like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. If you keep wondering whether you’re looking fine all the time and trying not to let your partner look at you too much, it makes for disappointing sex. You need to trust your partner to like you just the way you are, the way you like them. Relax and enjoy the feeling of being together, and you’ll discover what a romp you can have. Confidence only grows with good sex, so if you can feel good about yourself in bed once, the next time, you’ll feel even better.

2008-11-17T04:48:00.001-08:00

SEX RECIPE - TWO CAN DO IT !

2008-11-17T04:47:00.000-08:00

One way street

That’s what sex often becomes – a one-sided effort. Women either think men should initiate sex if they really desire them, or that men are natural aggressors and it’s their ‘role’ to desire lovemaking more than women do. Again, that’s partly misinformation. The healthiest, hottest relationship is one in which both partners make each other feel loved and wanted. Don’t let one person do all the work. Initiate sex more often, and when your partner least expects it. Brush against them discreetly at a party or if you’re alone during a meal. Try seduction during a boring car ride or call them at work (when you know they will have some free time!) . Your partner will be pleasantly surprised at how warm and loved that makes them feel, and you can then turn things from warm to hot at the next opportunity.

SEX RECIPE - BE INNOVATIVE !

2008-11-17T04:46:00.000-08:00

Putting you to sleep

If all you can think about when you look at your bed is sleeping, you’re probably bored with your sex life. It happens. Hectic schedules and family responsibilities leave hardly any time for sex, let alone innovative sex. But if you want to do more than sleep in the bedroom, you should give some thought to doing it differently. Boredom creeps in largely because of monotony, because sex becomes a chore. You wouldn’t have dal and chawal every night, so you shouldn’t make love the same way every time either. Vary the scene a bit each time – try sexy lingerie, different lighting, dirty talk, massages, different positions ... there are enough sources to find out how you can make an otherwise lukewarm sex life really steamy.

SEX RECIPE - ASK YOUR SPOUSE ?

2008-11-17T04:45:00.000-08:00

Are you clairvoyant?

You’re not, right? Neither is your partner. It’s naive to assume they will just know what you want if they ‘really love you’. In fact, if you really love your partner, you should be the one taking the initiative to speak up and actually talk about what you want and what the two of you could improve upon in the bedroom. Don’t expect your lover to be superhuman and all knowing. It’s no fun making love to a perfect being anyway.

SEX RECIPES -STAY INFORMED !

2008-11-17T04:40:00.000-08:00

Not very hot on info

It’s no secret that many people in the land of the Kamasutra are basically misinformed or under informed about sex. Conservative families, the burden of upholding our ‘culture’ and embarrassment prevent people from going to the bedroom armed with at least enough information about sex and the body. But with the amount of information available on the net, you can easily educate yourself about how your partner’s body works and what is pleasurable. After that, it’s all a matter of trial (and a few errors) to figure out how you both can have the most fun.

ARE COUPLES WATCHING PORN ?

2008-11-16T04:07:00.000-08:00

Sex is a natural act of love between couples which is incomplete without deep feelings for each another.

But what if your sex life is witnessing a lull where the action between the sheets is lifeless and thoroughly unimaginative. To battle this dry spell, a lot of modern couples are taking recourse to watching sexually explicit videos in an effort to spice up their conjugal relationships.

Pornography is as old as human kind and most couples sometime or the other have viewed some sort of pornography together. From "soft" porn scenes in Hollywood flicks like Unfaithful with Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez, or Body Heat starring Kathleen Turner and William Hurt to triple X rated movies, a lot of couples have taken recourse to sampling pornography. Observing couples in an erotic sex act has always been an eye opener for many as much as it forms a source of pleasure.

At times, pornography is a potent catalyst which has helped enhance the sexual act between married couples who may be ignorant about experimental sex moves. Coming to their rescue, where pornography has helped them master new techniques and "ways to pleasure" each other.

The viewing of pornography is no longer considered as "sinful” as getting aroused via suggestive visuals often leads to couples indulging each other in bold sexual moves. Instances of modern couples filming their love act like their Hollywood counterparts also abound. Even therapists seem to suggest that pornography as a unique a way to revive sexual desire.

The only problems arise when both partners are not open to watching porn together. Take the case of Nishta (name changed), 28, a product manager in Mumbai who tolerates her man's habit of watching pornography, but claims to feeling deeply insecure with his penchant for the perfectly sculpted bodies of the porn stars.

She says,” My husband told me lots of his friends' girlfriends have gone in for plastic surgery to get that perfect hot bod. He claims that I'll possess an awesome body. But, I'm unsure whether surgery will improve our sex life. My husband is selfish sexually and I blame his obsession with pornography for it".

INTELLIGENT SEX SCORES !

2008-11-16T04:04:00.000-08:00

When it comes to picking up a bed-mate, women prefer intelligent men to dumb jocks, according to a new study of hundreds of university students.

The research led by Mark Prokosch, an evolutionary psychologist at Elon University in North Carolina suggests that women looking for both one-night stands and long-term relationships go for good looking and intelligent men. "Women want the best of both worlds. Not only a physically attractive man, but somebody in the long term who can provide for them," New Scientist quoted Prokosch, as saying.

For the study, the research team asked 15 college men to perform a series of tasks on camera. The volunteers read news reports, explained why they would be a good date, and what would be the ramifications of the discovery of life on Mars.

They were also made to play Frisbee show off their physical appeal. Each potential suitor also took a quantitative test of verbal intelligence. Later, more than 200 women were made to watch the series of these videos before rating each man's intelligence, attractiveness, creativity and appeal for a short-term or long-term relationship. The study showed that, in potential husbands, women look for signs that a man might be a good provider and father.

However in one-night stands, women are on the prowl for little more than good genes, not to mention a good time. Women proved to be decent judges of intelligence, with their scores generally matching each man's intelligence test results. But Martie Haselton, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles had a different view. He revealed that although women were good judges of intelligence, they weren't perfect.

In many cases, women rated good hook-ups as dunces, when their intelligence scores indicated otherwise. "There could be aspects of intelligence that we pick up on when we interact with a person and that affect our assessment of them, even if we wouldn't label it as intelligence," she said.

ULTIMATE BLISS THERAPY !

2008-11-16T04:02:00.000-08:00

The home is where the heart is. For many a man, that heart is synonymous with his wife, which explains why he is going that extra mile to please her.

Whether or not you believe it, some guys are actually practising massage to whip up a thrilling formula for a happy married life, and the trend is picking up slowly but steadily.

Massage is an excellent form of passive exercise and, at the same time, very stimulating and invigorating. But, treating massage as an ingredient to spice up married life is a relatively new phenomenon. Shweta Kekal, who runs a unisex salon, says, “It’s nice that men are going out of their way to please their wives. Some women do not enjoy massage because they are not comfortable baring their bodies before even female masseurs. With husbands turning masseurs, they will be able to make the most of it.”

SPEED DATERS ARE IN TODAY !

2008-11-16T03:59:00.000-08:00

In primates and birds, the larger the group, the better the chance that non-dominant individuals have of being chosen as a mate, reports New Scientist . Alison Lenton at the University of Edinburgh, and her team looked at whether this is true for people too.

Speed-daters race through a series of "mini dates" of about 5 minutes then invite whoever catches their fancy to get in touch again later.

To reach the conclusion, Alison and her team studied 118 sessions with groups of between seven and 36 people, and found to their surprise that as the size of the group grew, the offers became skewed towards just a few individuals, while the least popular ended up with fewer or no offers.

So why do humans seem to differ from other animals? In smaller groups, says Alison, people trade off different qualities in prospective mates - physical attractiveness for intelligence, for example. Faced with too much choice, however, people resort to crude approaches such as choosing solely on looks.

LOVE GAMES - WORDS OF CAUTION !

2008-11-16T03:56:00.000-08:00

1. Don't shy away from trying these games. If one isn't good for you, another must be. So, explore...

2. Let your imaginative juices flow while playing these games to get the desired results.

3. Make sure you know your partner's preferences before you trigger off any love game. Everybody is not equally sporting.

LOVE GAMES - ROLE PLAYING !

2008-11-16T03:55:00.000-08:00

All of us cherish certain wild fantasies relating to certain professions and professionals. Some love getting spanked by a head mistress, while others just love watching a doctor taking over. If even you have one such naughty fantasy...get into some serious role playing! Dress up the way your partner wants and play act a naughty role just for him/her. How about a wicked schoolgirl getting spanked by a strict teacher or a sexy librarian and student or for that matter a hot detective and his suspect? The possibilities are wild...

Rules:

While play-acting, forget your real self. You can only use the props and places suiting the role. For instance, a teacher's spanking stick or a doctor's stethoscope checking out never explored places in your body will create quite a ripple.

Add the sizzle:

Ask your partner what all he fantasies doing with/doing to his favourite character and help him achieve the perfect part.

Try these love games, and you'll be surprised to watch your relationship grow all the more exciting and healthy!

LOVE GAMES - CATCH AN ALPHABET !

2008-11-16T03:52:00.000-08:00

You must have played it in your schooldays. It was something like this - one person started with a city starting with 'A' as the other called out a city's name starting with the alphabet on which the first city ended. Replace the cities with parts of each other's bodies now! Let him start with a body part starting with 'A' and then you take it forward. The tease here is that each one has to kiss the body part being called out. If there's no body part corresponding to an alphabet, just get creative and name it yourself to keep the passion soaring sky high.

Rules:

You can't skip your turn. Whosoever fails to find a body part loses the golden chance to kiss. As they say one person's loss is another's gain - the other partner takes over his chance to get naughty with a particular part of your body. So try and win!

Add the sizzle:

Don't just limit yourself to kissing your lover's body part!

LOVES GAMES - PATIENCE TEST !

2008-11-16T03:51:00.000-08:00

As the name suggests, in this game both the partners take chances to test each other's patience. One of them is active, while the other is a passive partner. The passive partner has to lie still, while the active partner takes charge to do just about everything pleasurable to the other. Being active, your motto is to elicit a response from the other, while the latter has to strive to control so as to enjoy maximum gratification.

Rules:

It is only when the passive partner reacts (moans or moves) that the doer wins his pleasure trip.

Add the sizzle:

The active partner is allowed to touch all levels of teaching and touching to excite the passive partner. The best part about this game are the discoveries you make about your partner - sensitive areas on his/her body, most erogenous zones, favourite pleasurable techniques, sensual responses, the list is endless. Every game will make you more adroit to excel in the second round.

LOVE GAMES - LOVE PICTIONARY !

2008-11-16T03:49:00.000-08:00

You must have played Pictionary as a child. We are just making it 'love pictionary' for the adults. In this game, one of you makes a sketch of the surprise you want to have at night from your partner.For instance, draw a beach, sand, sun and sea if you want to get dirty on the beach this weekend! And if your partner guesses your clue right...you don't have to ask for another reward! He too wins a chance to etch out his wildest fantasies! A win-win situation for both!

Rules:

Whosoever is drawing should not speak and the guessing mate can't deny actually performing what's been drawn. What if he fails to guess? He doesn't get a chance to draw what he wants till he makes the right guess.

Add the sizzle:

The drawer can be as suggestive as he/she can while drawing out the clues. After all, you want your partner to guess right!

LOVE GAMES - BLIND BERRY HUNTING !

2008-11-16T03:47:00.000-08:00

In this love hunt, one partner blindfolds the other. Whoever is not blindfolded hides small quantities of berries (raspberries, blueberries, etc) all over their body and the other has to hunt them out. The reward is that the hunter wins wishes equaling the number of berries he has located.

Rules:

The hunter is not allowed to use hands, only mouth-work here. And the other partner has to grant the hunter's most erotic wishes.

Add the sizzle:

Don't let the excitement finish at just discovering the berries. Hand feed them to your beau on the very body part you located them. Tickling caused by your eating coupled with the magic of berry-juice dripping while you eat will turn-on your partner leaving him/her craving for more action!

LOVE GAMES - NOOKY NUMBERS !

2008-11-16T03:41:00.000-08:00

This will only make foreplay even more intense. All you both need is a deck of cards here. Shuffle and place them face-down between you and your partner. Now, take turns to pick out cards from the pile. Follow the rules below and keep playing till you can resist taking the big plunge.

Rules:

If you draw a number card, you get to kiss that many spots on your partner's body.

You drew a King/Queen? You win a 15-minute, sensual body massage.

If a Jack is drawn, simultaneously pleasure each other for ten minutes in all your favourite love spots.

Aces are considered wild card entry here! If you are lucky to draw one, it grants you one of your carnal desires.

Add the sizzle:    

Surprise your partner with a yummy smooch in his/her desired body part if you loved the massage. You never know...you may end up hitting the jackpot!

LOVE GAMES - SNIFF KISS ZONE !

2008-11-16T03:40:00.000-08:00

No G-spot hunting here! Rather, in this game you need five diverse fragrances sprayed on five different spots of your body. Now, let your partner employ his senses to detect those sweet smelling spots and leave his love mark there! Reward? Hmm...what's better than a sweet smelling kiss or a long lasting hickey?

Rules:

The hunter is strictly supposed to do a 'nose job with no skin touches' until he/she locates the sweet smelling spot and once it's done; the other partner simply has to surrender.

Add the sizzle:

Get experimental! Instead of regular flowery smells...go for heady fragrances to drive your mate to new heights. The effect will not just be magical, but lasting as well.

LOVE GAMES- BASKETBALL STRIP !

2008-11-16T03:38:00.000-08:00

Playing basket ball with your partner is a good idea to induce some physical exercise. All you need to do is set up a basketball hoop in your home and start shooting hoops. Doesn't sound interesting enough? Why not make it titillating by adding a sensuous reward for every shot you get through?

So, every time he scores, you have to strip a piece of clothing you have on and if you get through, he strips and so on. This acts as an exciting twist in your normal basketball routine and is surely going to set the temperature soaring with sweaty passion. Before you know it, waiting for that last winning shot will be actually arousing!

Rules:

Abandon the usual tracks or shorts and dress formally from head to toe. More the number of clothes...more is the sexual excitement as you view your partner stripping off every last piece of clothing to keep up with your sex drive!

Add the sizzle:

The winner gets it all as the losing partner has to do anything and everything the winner demands. The more creative you are, the more fun the exercise promises to be!

LOVE GAMES - BURSTING BALLOONS !

2008-11-16T03:37:00.000-08:00

Who said only kids play with balloons? Even adults do! By the end of this balloon game, resisting each other will be simply impossible. Blow up ten (or more) round party balloons. Place them between you and your lover while lying in bed together. Now, both of you start to hug, squeeze and kiss each other, while squashing the balloons in between your bodies resulting in them going pop! The bet is to break as many of them as possible.

Rules:

You can't break the balloons alone by riding on them, but strictly by squashing them between your hot bods.

Add the sizzle:

Pep up the thrill of breaking the balloons by putting sweet little love notes into some of them. The balloons are a lot harder to pop this way than you might imagine.

LOVE GAMES - HIDE & SEEK !

2008-11-16T03:35:00.000-08:00

Before you chuck this idea out as a stale game, let us tell you that it's a 'nude' hide and seek match that we are proposing! So, make sure your blinds are down before you both decide to do the 'Full Monty' or peeping Toms in your neighbourhood may just end up having a field day.

Rules:

When the game is intensely naughty, the rules have to be sexier to keep up the tempo. How about something like: "If he finds you, he wins 10 minutes of extreme pleasure." And in case he fails, he'll be your love slave for the day and vice versa. Exploit his weakness to the fullest!

Add the sizzle:

Rather than being stark naked, wear just one piece of clothing that simply turns your partner on. How about a garter belt or those killer stilettoes? Men, how about those sexy thongs or how about flaunting that tattoo near your navel. Finding you wearing just what he/she dreams of will add to the victory match!

LOVE GAMES !

2008-11-16T03:32:00.000-08:00

Well, in such a case, these love games will strengthen your love ties by bringing you closer to your mate thus taking both partners to newer heights of interactivity and intimacy. In short, love competition adds the much needed spice to your relationship.

Sometimes it takes something as simple as being playful to ward off the monotony surrounding our love life and to get you both back into the mood for romance and passion. So, get into the act folks as it's playtime and remember there's nothing like a sexy romantic game to sizzle up the action between the sheets. There's no time like the present moment so go ahead and get acquainted with these fun-filled love games that seek to unleash the playboy in your man and the sex siren in you. You don't have to be a newly-wed to play these love games. These games are the best remedy when you feel the spark fizzling out of your love shack. Just gear up for some love action coz as the saying goes - 'couples who play together, stay together!'

DOWN MEMORY LANE !

2008-11-16T03:02:00.000-08:00

All of us are familiar with nostalgia, a trip down the memory lane that evokes a sense of our most cherished experiences, tinged with a bit of sadness at their loss.

A latest study indicates that nostalgia may serve a greater purpose than just taking us back to the good old days.

Psychologists Xinyue Zhou and Ding-Guo Gao of Sun Yat-Sen University, along with Constantine Sedikides and Tim Wildschut from University of Southampton, explored the connection between loneliness and nostalgia.

Participants included children, college students and factory workers. Besides factory workers were also assessed on their resilience (their ability to recover from traumatic events and adverse life situations).

The results showed that individuals who felt the loneliest reported receiving the least amount of social support. What was interesting, however, was that these participants turned out to be the most nostalgic.

In addition, when nostalgia was induced in a number of the study participants, they in turn perceived to have the greatest amount of social support, according to a release of the Association for Psychological Science (APS).

These findings suggest that nostalgia amplifies perceptions of social support and in this way, counteracts feelings of loneliness. These findings also revealed that the most resilient individuals are more likely to use nostalgia to overcome bouts of loneliness.

These results indicate that nostalgia may be used in cognitive therapy, as a coping mechanism that individuals turn to when they are confronted with social exclusion.

FOODS FOR SEXUAL PERFORMANCE !

2008-10-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

During exploration and orgasm, even the scent alone of some aphrodisiacs may be enough to increase sexual arousal and enhance performance.

Natural Human aphrodisiac: Pheromones
Pheromones are the truest form of natural aphrodisiacs. The human pheromones -- Androstenone, Androstenol, Androsterone - found in minute amounts in the perspiration of men and women, are natural aphrodisiacs that attract men to women and visa-versa.

There is scientific evidence that human pheromones can elicit strong sexual responses in both sexes. Unfortunately, antiperspirants and deodorants often destroy the pheromones in human perspiration.

Research conducted by the University of Chicago shows concrete proof that human pheromones do exist. And pheromones produced by one individual have a definite influence on the biological behavior of another.

FOODS FOR SEDUCTION !

2008-10-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

Seductive aphrodisiacs can help trigger the release of sex hormones, such as testosterone, provide a quick energy boost, and increase blood flow to the genitals to get the body "in the mood" for love. It’s important to create visual stimulation with foods that look like the genitalia, such as oysters, fresh figs, or carrots.

Anything that is visually erotic is automatically going to set your brain in motion. Certain foods release hormones, like testosterone in women that makes them more sexually aggressive and adventurous."

Examples:

Chocolate : Not only does chocolate provide a jolt of caffeine, the plant has a flower that looks like sex organs.

Ginger : This root reportedly increases blood flow to the genitals in both men and women.

Olives : Green ones

Tomatoes : They have a reputation as a sexual stimulant.

Apples : Since Adam and Eve, this fruit has been synonymous with temptation.

Asparagus: A sexy, long, phallic-looking food

SEX APHRODISIACS !

2008-10-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

Aphrodisiacs, as they are commonly referred to, may have some scientific study backing them up, but couples usually select them based on certain preset notions and beliefs.

While some feel that they're tempting enough to evoke their erotic senses, for others, aphrodisiacs are an integral part of the foreplay process. Surprisingly, some men have even resorted to referring to Kareena Kapoor's poster where dark chocolate ran all over her assets. "When I see melted chocolate, it tempts me a lot and I get a feeling of my partner trying to seduce me in bed. It's not that I spread chocolate all over her body, but having a bite of chocolate and then kissing her with it in my mouth sets the mood right," shares 29-year old Vineet Khanna.

Other than chocolate, fruits like strawberries and bananas are also considered to be effective aphrodisiacs. "Of course, you can't think of teasing your partner with a fruit like mango. Strawberries are small and the heart-shape helps in building the sexual mood, as you can just take half of it in your mouth and let your partner try and bite the remaining half. Also, the soft thorns on the outer layer work well to make my hubby horny," feels Jigyasa Thakore.

There's a belief that the more a couple sweat it out in bed, the wilder the sex escapade gets. Couples also therefore tend to consume more of chilli peppers to induce sweating. "Eating chicken makes my man sweat a lot and I don't need to add that extra, spicy chilli. In a way, mere chicken acts as an aphrodisiac for me to get him going," shares 32-year old housewife Meenal Duggal.

While aphrodisiacs have been doing their rounds since time immemorial, nobody really knows what good they actually do.

VACATION SEX !

2008-10-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

Vacation is the best place to get ‘sexperimental’. People love having sex in new places. This is in large part because of the neurotransmitter dopamine.

When people have new experiences, dopamine spikes in the brain, triggering lust. And with that, many are willing to try something new and exciting.

In a new, romantic or exotic place, lovers can rediscover one another. In trying different restaurants or embarking on a variety of nightlife activities, every evening that you’re away feels like a date night, each with its own distinct backdrop.

All of this enhances lovers’ moods, helping them to feel better about one another and more connected.

When you make the time for nothing but loving, that’s hopefully what you’re going to get – and lots of it.

Sex will breed the desire for more sex, making both partners feel better about their sex life and the relationship.

FLYING HIGH IN THE SKY !

2008-10-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

On a plane:

You can try the toilet and if that’s too cramped, the seat in a Business or First class cabin. Some airliners with long-haul flights now boast of recliner seats that go as flat as a bed. Take a flight of fantasy.

Word of caution: Don’t try it if you already have flight phobia and take care of people lining-up outside the loo

SLEEPING SENSATIONS !

2008-10-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

In a sleeping bag:

Nothing could bring you as close as that sleeping bag that’s meant for a single person and is loaded with two! Why not get into some naughty action and add to a fun-filled camping trip? Instead of the normal position, turn around and have some fun from behind. Talk about kinky fantasies!

Word of caution: Zip the bag properly, you don’t want end up killing insects in the mid of the act.

HIT THE ROOF !

2008-10-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

On the roof :

Yes, this can be a great playground; the gentle moonlight, a cool breeze to caress your passionate entwinings. Pep it up with some paper lamps or scented candles and light music, which will just add to the mood. You have all the space to set the ball rolling...so go ahead and explore her contours under a starry sky.

Word of caution: No physical risks are involved...but just take care of peeping Toms around.

STAIRCASE TO HEAVEN !

2008-10-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

The stairs:

If you are thinking they can be a pain to one’s body, think again, as they can be adventurous too. After all, they can give you those highs and lows, especially when the girl is comparatively short.

Word of caution: Don’t get really aggressive if getting cramps in your lower back is not on your mind.

DRESS UP FOR SEX !

2008-10-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

In the dressing room:

How about catching her unawares in the dressing room of a store? Sounds dangerous but thrilling too! The fear of getting caught will only add to the sensual experience, while the lack of time is perfect to give you a never before quickie. Thinking comfort? Sorry! All you have is a stool...let him stand as you take charge!

Word of caution:

Making noise is not allowed here and do take care of hidden cameras and key-holes.

SEX DRIVE IN YOUR CAR !

2008-10-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

In the car:

Yes it’s crammed, but it’s cosy too. A quickie in the backseat can rekindle the excitement that you felt during your heady college days. Put on some romantic retro tracks and switch on the AC. Don’t fret, it won’t cool down the passion. When the place is different, the position can’t be a drab. It’s tough to adjust facing each other, but turning the world around can definitely help...hope you got the clue!

Word of caution:

Just be careful where you park...you don’t want to get busted!

ROMP IN THE SWIMMING POOL !

2008-10-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

Sex in the pool :

Though not many are privileged to have one in the confines of their home, if you are one of the lucky few, make the most of it. Challenge your swimming skills and get under for into some underwater escapades. Who said that the inflatable water turtle is meant only for tanning, use it for some steamy adventure...ride it together and get a new high!

Word of caution:

You need not be swimming champs, but fairly decent floating skills are definitely expected to get into the water-y fun.

SEX IN THE KITCHEN !

2008-10-31T21:35:00.000-07:00

In the kitchen:

Be it 91/2 Weeks or Fatal Attraction , the kitchen has borne witness to quite a number of sexapades. The sturdy surfaces and shelves offer great support, especially for stand-up acts, while the feeling of being at an unconventional place pumps up the excitement to newer heights. And how can you miss the yummy treats your kitchen is loaded with? Eat them, but off each other’s hot bods. Think chocolate, cream, jams and jellies!

Word of caution:

Know the stuff you are eating and applying...some edibles are good only to eat. So watch out for allergies!

SEX IN THE BATHTUB !

2008-10-31T21:34:00.000-07:00

In the bathtub:

Things can get real hot even in a cool bath tub. For the ultimate romantic experience, arrange for a bubble bath with aromatic rose petals and passion perfume. Add some mood lighting, splash a few drops of ‘ylang ylang’ essential oil and be certain that the sensuous experiment will lead to some supah hot sex.

Word of caution: Check out the water temperature, you don’t want to end up with painful blisters or a frozen lover...isn’t?

SEX ON THE COUCH !

2008-10-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

On the couch:

After the bed, the couch in the living room is screaming for attention. And the best part...it’s comfy too. The cushions work as a support system to get those curves and arches to enjoy the perfect moves, while the lack of space will keep up the intimacy levels. Want some more action? Put on a wild flick on video and you have a perfect mood maker!

Word of caution: Watch out your moves, going out of control is injurious...for the couch of course!

SEXUAL FANTASIES !

2008-10-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

Fantasy # 2

Being a visual delight
A lot of couples love being an audience to their own sexual encounters by having sex in from of a full length/ceiling mirror. "The thought of watching our own moves in the mirror always leave my heart pumping harder. Though my wife was a little apprehensive initially, but soon she got into the flow. Not only is it fun, enjoying this voyeuristic pleasure helped my wife get over her body consciousness and come alive," admits 27-years-old, advertising executive, Jairaj Kanojia (name changed on request).

Just place a full length mirror strategically in front of your bed and there you have the perfect pitch ready to hit those sexual sixes and boundaries! So keep playing till one of you gets clean bowled!

SEXUAL FANTASIES !

2008-10-31T21:29:00.000-07:00

Fantasy # 1

Domination

Not to win, but to surrender! Yes, it's the most common fantasy that people eat, drink, sleep and live with. The mere thought of a partner sweeping them off their feet and winning full sexual control over them provides a heady adrenaline rush. Women just love watching their macho lover begging for sexual release in the bedroom as they crack the whip on their love slave. And hot hunks also get turned on by the thought of being hand-cuffed in bed as their lady love assumes the role of the dominating lover. "I never knew my otherwise dictating man would love turning into a meek lover waiting to be taken to task by me. The total reversal of roles adds to the sexual excitement and gives me a chance to rule over him in bed. The sex we have is just wild," confesses 33-years-old Divya Pahwa from Delhi.

The way we do it:

Hand cuffs or silky-satiny scarves come handy to enact this fantasy. Just tie your partner's limbs to the bed and there's your prey ...all set to submit to your sexual calls. He's the slave and you the master...so go ahead and live out your carnal pleasures. Touch, tease and tickle...the situation is a win-win at both ends. Your slave is bound to derive pleasure in begging for your sexual attention, as you enjoy making him/her deliver your hidden whim and fancies!

SPONTANEOUS SEX DRIVES !

2008-10-31T21:14:00.000-07:00

 
The strangest places amorous couples have sex revealed

A new study has revealed the weirdest of places where lovers have been caught getting frisky, which include canal path, police station and even a church, reports    The Sun   . 

  Here are some of the very unlikely places that couples have been spotted making it out— 

  Canal Path   : Scots Gareth Black and Clair Muir were caught sharing a moment of passion in broad daylight by policeman on the bank of Falkirk’s Union Canal. It was the locals who called the police after spotting them from their windows. 

  Church   : When Italian cops were called at a church in the northern city of Cesena, they didn’t know what kind of worshipping they’ll encounter— a 31-year-old labourer - and his 32-year-old female teacher partner were having oral sex inside for an hour. 

  On CCTV   : A worker at Newcastle’s Rural Payments Agency was fired after a CCTV camera caught him having sex with a colleague in the office toilets and running around their desks naked. 

  War Memorial   : A French couple received a four-month suspended jail term after getting caught making a porno at a World War I memorial. 

  Police Station   : Cops found a tipsy American couple— Dennis Cullen and a lady friend—making love in a vehicle in the car park of a police station. 

  Tram Stop   : When a British couple was getting bored waiting for their tram, they got a rather raunchy idea—the 29-year-old woman and her 17-year-old toyboy got naked and started having sex in the street. Cops came after a CCTV camera in Croydon, South London alerted them about the cheeky happenings.  

  Crane   : Construction worker Justin Dunn was accused of having "sexual relations" in a crane by cops who were called to the scene. However, when the 23-year-old came down with his 35-year-old partner, they denied of doing anything naughty in the air.

WILD AND WICKED !

2008-09-17T10:09:00.020-07:00

Let go of your inhibitions, get more vocal and play some games. Read on to find out what else can help you add that zing to your love life... 

  Contrary to popular belief, enjoying a great sex life is not all about possessing technical skills. What is more important is to be able to let go and enjoy the act with your partner. Most people will agree that the key to having fun in bed is to have an equally enthusiastic lover. You need to be able to shut out the rest of the world and focus on enjoying yourself with your partner. Forget about the worries of the day and just concentrate on having a great sensual experience.  

  Here are some tips to help you let go in bed:  

  Live in the moment  

  Create the perfect romantic ambience for you and your lover. Make sure that your space is clutter-free so that while you are getting intimate, your mind does not wander to household bills or pending office work. It's hard to be unrestrained in bed if you are concerned about other things.  

  Ensure that there are no distractions. Turn the lights dim, put the phone off the hook and play some soft music; anything that can help bring out the passion. Concentrate solely on the intimacy that you and your partner share. Grab your lover close and stroke your partner's hair. Once you reach a certain comfort level, you will be all set for a wild night.

SEDUCTION OF SENSES !

2008-09-17T10:09:00.019-07:00

You can touch my hair and kiss me everywhere... Does it sound too clichéd or rather boring way to seduce your partner? Are you tired of reading the same old techniques of seduction?

Well, what about going back to the basics? And nothing can be more basic than the five senses - sense of sight, sense of smell, sense of taste, sense of hearing, sense of touch. These can really keep things sizzling hot during sex. Vatsayan would have definitely vouched for that! We get modern day experts to share more on it...

To keep the flames burning in your sex-life, you must fine-tune your seduction skills. With fingers busy, mouths, lips, tongues, noses, and eyes enticed, sensuousness will linger in every move to make you the most desirable man or woman of seduction.

Rita Gangwani, an etiquette expert, shares, “Sometimes we take the senses so much for granted that we don't really pay attention to them. Working to develop the five senses and focusing on them while making love, drawing attention to his/her sensuousness will not only enhance your own pleasure, but will give pleasure to your lover as well.”

Dr. Sanjay Chugh, expert on sexual issues, says, “The seduction tips that one can employ also depends on ‘overall’ quality of the couple's relationship. If there is a healthy emotional and psychological bond between the two, the chances of a good sex life is high. And in case, if one incorporates a few out-of-the-box techniques, then it’s definitely some icing on the cake!”

Psychiatrist Dr. Samir Parikh supports, “Couples need to keep trying to make things work for them but the key is not just trying new things, its more to be attuned to each others likes, fantasies and pleasures so that a mutually satisfying relationship could result. They can try various permutations and combinations of these seduction ways on their personalities.”

On how these five senses work towards stimulating the libido of male/female partner, Dr. Parikh explains, “Most of these factors (senses) have an association in our mind, so they act as a conditioned stimulus, and can help creating the atmosphere. But the key would be the mutuality and the quality of the non-sexual life would have its direct impact on the sexual life.”

Rita adds, “One must be aware to the fact that human body is bristling with sensory receptors - God’s gift to humankind - it’s up to us to responsibly enjoy it. One must give body the permission to celebrate what’s inside; celebrate it with oneself, and with the partner. We must take time to really learn the subtle but very powerful art of seducing the opposite sex using all five senses.”

These are simple yet extremely seductive ways.

MORE THAN JUST SEX !

2008-09-17T10:09:00.018-07:00

When your relationship isn't a humdrum affair, then why should your sex life be dull and lifeless? There's more to a rocking sex life than just simple, great sex.

A marvelous sexual connection includes different kinds of sex, even the ones you haven't dared to experiment with perhaps. Check out the different kinds of love making acts you and your lover can indulge in for a night of passion.

Experimental sex
Couples in long-term relationship often opt for this kind of act as they miss the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. With time, a couple's love life loses its zing and to get it back one needs to try new things. "Try pushing the regular comfort zones. It may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; you can even go for thrilling experiences like making love on the terrace or in the balcony or at some public place." explains Meera Wahi, married for last nine years.

Why to try : There's nothing like the moment when you're struggling for breath thinking, "That was amazing, we've never done that before." Experts suggest that no matter how long you've been in a relationship, you need to have an earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while. What's more try pushing the boundaries, as this will heighten the trust between you two, create an exceptional comfort level and minimise the possibilities of casual flings outside the relationship. So, go ahead and clue in to your partner's covert bedroom urges to transform the every-night mediocre sex to a mind-blowing encounter. You'll harvest the sensually gratifying perks too.

Necessary sex
Necessary sex can be explained as 'just-for-the-heck-of-it sex', which is vital for a long-term relationship to retain its sexual spark. These are your very special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift spirits. Supports Mihika, a 31-year-old, new mom, "As a new mom, I am tired most of the times. However, I make special effort to get going in the bed and this makes me feel closer to him. Even if the sex isn't that good, it feels like the relationship has become stronger."

Why to try : Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good about your sexual prowess. Experts say that regular physical contact actually tunes the brain into the need to feel emotionally close. By making sex a regular habit, you can open new avenues of bonding as a couple. Moreover, doing it sometimes when you are not in the perfect mood can gear you up for something much hotter the next time around. And most importantly, don't forget how much a hit-the-roof orgasm does to keep your sex spark bright.

Bummer sex
Admit it, for it's something that's bound to happen. An awkward grunt, a stupid expression, somebody walking in unexpectedly or may be slipping down the bed, all of us can have these embarrassing moments that we would like to ideally forget. Akhil, a 27-year-old choreographer, recollects, "We'd been together since last one year. The last time we were having sex, her roommate just walked in. We didn't know what to say. Finally I said, 'Whoops!' and we laughed our heart out. The voyeurism added to the fire, needless to say."

Why to try : Don't fret about imperfect moments in your sex life; just rejoice and hold your lover tight. Your ability to deal with embarrassing situations reflects the strength of your relationship, say experts. Real understanding is about being able to feel at ease with each other in awkward circumstances as well. Emotional presence and trust is the biggest aphrodisiac of all and often provides the sexual thrill which can last a lifetime. React positively to embarrassing sexual mishaps and she will add funny, cute and smart to her mental list of reasons as to why she chooses to be intimate with you.

PERSONAL SEX MACHINES !

2008-09-17T10:09:00.017-07:00

Want to add some more action in the bedroom? Well, all your 'naughty’ wishes are about to be fulfilled, all thanks to personal sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive.

From the smooth, silent glide of the Monkey Rocker Tango to Le Chair's ability to put two people into a dozen compromising positions, the new products and prototypes unveiled at this week's Adult Novelty Expo straddle the line between toy and machine.

The evolutionary equipments have been recently unveiled by engineers at Adult Novelty Expo, which help improve people's dull sex life, reports Wired News.

Monkey Rocker, is an amazing cybersex accessory, a silent machine that responds to your body motions without any complicated control panels or need for batteries.

It is handmade from powder-coated, 100 percent recovered and recycled wood fibre -- PermaCore MDF, and can handle up to 400 pounds.

The engineers also introduced robotic sex chair, Le Chair developed California Exotic Novelties (NSFW), based on love furniture already available in Japan. Le Chair comes with motors in the seat and back supports that can pound, vibrate or stroke. One seat adjusts up and down to place lovers in optimal positions for various intimate activities, and both sides provide arm and leg support as well.

A representative confided that the company plans to work with programs to help get Le Chairs to war veterans wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan at low or no cost.

Then came up Menage-A-Tool, which is an adjustable, lightweight rod with two attachments for various dildos, which can penetrate two people at a time and still have one hand free for someone else.

The new Monkey Rocker Tango brings the cyber sex experience offline when an individual would meet his/her online lover in person, they can both ride it at the same time as long as their combined weight is less than 450 pounds. The Tango also works for folks who skip the whole cybersex thing and just have a regular ol'' fashioned, in-person relationship.

Power Bullet doubles as a muscle massager and hides its complex machinery inside a velvety, matte-black cylinder. Straddling it on a pillow is going to be a lot more effective at relaxing muscles and relieving stress. Its motors provide a deep throbbing touch and its single button offers a simplicity much appreciated by tired tech workers with wrist pain.

Imatah is a custom-made dildo mounted on a plate connected to a mechanism that can pump straight in and out or move in an oval pattern.

It weighs about 5 pounds and comes with a fabric sleeve that hides its legs and prevents the machine from falling off the bed when in use.

CAN A FLING SAVE A MARRIAGE ?

2008-09-17T10:09:00.016-07:00

A fling can actually save your failing marriage

It may not seem likely, but having an affair can be the very thing that saves your failing marriage, says a new controversial self-help book.

Marriage therapist Mira Kirshenbaum the author of the tome ‘When Good People Have Affairs’ says that the 'right kind' of affair is not such a bad thing for a marriage.

According to the Telegraph , Ms Kirshenbaum says that an affair acts as the catalyst that jolts "people from their inertia". "Sometimes an affair can be the best way for the person who has been unfaithful to get the information and impetus to change," she told The Observer .

"I'm not encouraging affairs, but underlying the complicated mess is a kind of deep and delicate wisdom. It's an insight that something isn't working and needs to change." However, her book is not aimed by ‘creeps’ but decent people, who know that they have made a mistake while looking for real happiness and love.

"These people are suffering terribly and need to be relieved of their sense of guilt and shame because those emotions are paralysing," she said. "If handled right, an affair can be therapeutic, give clarity and jolt people from their inertia. You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator."

But Ms Kirshenbaum is convinced that the last thing a philanderer should do, is confess the affair to their partner. "This is the one area in which the truth usually creates far more damage in the long run," she said.

"If you care that much about honesty, figure out who you want to be with, commit to that relationship and devote the rest of your life to making it the most honest relationship you can."