According to Wendy Maltz, sex therapist and co-author of the book 'Private Thoughts: The power of women's fantasies', it is best to be on your guard while testing risky waters. That's because too often, says Maltz, there's a lack of understanding about what it means to share our dark desires.
To minimise misunderstandings, she suggests setting some guidelines before agreeing to reveal erotic fantasies. "Ensure you have a mutual understanding of each others' objectives. Are you doing it simply to learn about what each other's private sexual thoughts are, or are you creating a menu of the type of sexual activities you want to try, " she suggests.
Says management student Gokul Sharma, "Sharing your deepest sexual fantasies requires a lot of trust. I often had to keep my fantasies to myself because my ex-girlfriend did not like trying them out. She would often come up with excuses of being tired and on more than an occasion refered to me as a weirdo. So I decided it was time to move on."
Maltz points out that even when both partners willingly reveal their sexual fantasies to one another, there's no guarantee that the outcome will be a positive meeting of the mind or body. Psychologist Suparna Tiwari explains, "Often the content of our sexual fantasies could be quite a turn off. It takes a lot of love and patience between the partners to understand these fantasies, especially when it is beyond the norms of common sexual practices."
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