If you are single, child-free (not childless) and consider relationships (read romantic ) a high-risk job, you have just earned a new adjective for yourself – Freemale. This species came into existence about a decade back and while most other species that should be saved – both flora and fauna – are finding their way to WWF’s Red List, Freemales are actually increasing in number. So while all you Freemales out there raise a toast, countries like Australia and England are reporting in various surveys how the number of single women in the age-group of 25-45 have actually doubled and may soon surpass the number of their married counterparts! Hallelujah to that, but is the situation in India similar too? Well, Freemales may not have overtaken the married women, but the numbers have shown an appreciable increase. In fact, you can happily count any woman who takes to her designer heels the moment a relative/friend/acquaintance asks ‘when are you tying the knot?’ in this category. “What I don’t understand is why your single status is counted as ‘hasn’t got a good enough catch till now’. Yes, I am waiting for Mr Right but I won’t settle for Mr Right Now. So if I have to go without marriage, so be it. I am not complaining, only the rest of the world is,” says Sarika Gupta, a 30-year-old bank manager, who hates the fact that her self worth is decided by the fact that she has not managed to get a ‘Mrs’ prefix to her name till now, “I have a house, a car and a healthy social life. But all that is negated the moment my marital status comes into play!” There are others who say that they are happy to put themselves first, only nobody will buy it. “I am ok with my life the way it is. I have seen my friends going through bitter divorces or making adjustments to somehow keep their marriage going. I won’t say I am disillusioned with the institution but just that it doesn’t excite me enough to give up my freedom and way of life for it. And honestly, I am too set in my ways today and too busy with work to try to make a match. I have men in my life but they aren’t the ones I will pledge my troth to anytime soon,” says 34-year-old Meenu Menon, a media professional. However, these Bridget Jones-meet-Sex And The City quartet don’t intend to be single for the rest of their lives. “If love and marriage happen, great, but no second choices for me,” says graphic designer Arpita Trivedi, “I have spent a lot of time abroad before I came to India. Trust me, Indian society is as accepting of your single status as a US or UK. At least here you have your family to act as a cushion when you take a fall. There living a single life is much more difficult. But singletons all across the world are used to being go-getters; a loser of a marital match has no chance in hell of succeeding. So why go for it? Also, rootless as I have been of late, do I want to get into such a relationship and not change cities if my work demands it? I am not so sure.” However, this status is not half as much fun as it sounds. Ask the 40-year-old Carrie Bradshaw in SATC, who at 40 realises credit cards can buy you Manolo Blahniks and extra closet space for your designer togs, but not love. You may not want to marry for the next three years, but will you regret this decision in five? “It is not easy,” confesses 36-years-old Juhi Galihar, a self-employed entrepreneur, “At times I do miss having a family, a husband. But then, my married friends say they wish they had decided to focus on their careers instead of taking a break to take care of their kids. Well, you can’t have it all!” |
Sunday, August 31, 2008
READY FOR FREEMALES ?
WHAT TYPE IS YOUR HUSBAND !
The Fatherly Husband:
This old almost father-like husband is favourite amongst young girls who want nothing but money. He’s a billionaire, multi-married and is prone to heart attacks! A new young wife immediately puts the grandfather hubby on a diet. There’ll be dramatic weight loss, booze-free, no smoking and coloured hair days. The idea is to keep him fit until he signs everything to his dear wife. Remember, Anna Nicole Smith, 26 and how she married billionaire J. Howard Marshall, 89. Sometimes money takes over love issues!
The Gay Husband:
He is a husband, just for the namesake. The fact that he seems to have gay male friends could be hint. Gay husband is a pain as his true love and feelings is for someone of same sex. Remember the movie, Brokeback Mountain. The man-on-man stories are really catching up. So, ladies better be careful.
The Super-Ugly, Rich Husband:
He’s got everything except the looks. He has the ego of 10 men; he thinks he is God, pays for everyone and everything. Cherry on the top, he will have the most beautiful woman by his side. When you see this couple in a party, the first things that come to your mind are ‘How could she?’ or ‘Does she really have sex with him?’. This husband is surviving because he’s got money everywhere. He’ll pamper her with diamonds, new houses and she’ll stick to him till his money disappears.
The Greedy Husband:
He is too lazy to work and earn huge bucks. The easy way out is to hunt out for a multi-millionaire girl irrespective of her looks. All he wants is a BMW, the wine, cigars, penthouse, club memberships - but he’s not prepared to work hard for them. Fortune-hunting husband is basically a charming, lazy guy.
The Flirty Husband:
He has a nice wife but still he is greedy and loves to be surrounded by other beauties too. He can’t help groping his way through his wife’s friends, female coworkers, lady doctors -- basically any female with good looks. He won’t ever miss a chance of dropping or picking wife’s cousins or female friends to the airport or passing comments like ‘Sorry, but I can’t stop staring at your deep brown eyes’. He’s the sort of man that is incapable of being faithful. No love is true love for him; he can slip for any attractive girl.
The Always Penniless Husband:
The relationship starts off with thousand promises but soon all the charm fades away. He is unemployable, sitting at home eating and watching football. His parents thought he will realize his responsibilities after marriage, but no gain. The wife takes nearly no maternity leave and seems to be supporting her entire household on her salary alone. Truly, this husband is a life sentence of misery.
The Friendly Hubby:
He’s not a bad husband but his life is dedicated to his own social advancement. He cares too much about the parties, hanging with friends, night outs, travelling, long drives with his buddies. He is so very excited about these things, that he won’t even mind taking over his wife’s social life. He doesn’t believe in staying at home, he wants to have blast every night. This kind of husband can drive his wife to social madness.
The Almost Perfect Husband:
On the face, he appears to be a dream husband but in reality he is too irritating. He’s attentive, caring, loving, polite, well-dressed but always hovering near his wife, interrupting when she’s on phone, checking how much she’s been eating, drinking and spending. He’s just too much to handle. He turns up everywhere his wife goes at lunches, parties and he secretly hates her to have any friends and forbids her to even work. He basically shows he is a gem of a husband but he is a real pain. He looks like a perfect guy but he ain’t.
This old almost father-like husband is favourite amongst young girls who want nothing but money. He’s a billionaire, multi-married and is prone to heart attacks! A new young wife immediately puts the grandfather hubby on a diet. There’ll be dramatic weight loss, booze-free, no smoking and coloured hair days. The idea is to keep him fit until he signs everything to his dear wife. Remember, Anna Nicole Smith, 26 and how she married billionaire J. Howard Marshall, 89. Sometimes money takes over love issues!
The Gay Husband:
He is a husband, just for the namesake. The fact that he seems to have gay male friends could be hint. Gay husband is a pain as his true love and feelings is for someone of same sex. Remember the movie, Brokeback Mountain. The man-on-man stories are really catching up. So, ladies better be careful.
The Super-Ugly, Rich Husband:
He’s got everything except the looks. He has the ego of 10 men; he thinks he is God, pays for everyone and everything. Cherry on the top, he will have the most beautiful woman by his side. When you see this couple in a party, the first things that come to your mind are ‘How could she?’ or ‘Does she really have sex with him?’. This husband is surviving because he’s got money everywhere. He’ll pamper her with diamonds, new houses and she’ll stick to him till his money disappears.
The Greedy Husband:
He is too lazy to work and earn huge bucks. The easy way out is to hunt out for a multi-millionaire girl irrespective of her looks. All he wants is a BMW, the wine, cigars, penthouse, club memberships - but he’s not prepared to work hard for them. Fortune-hunting husband is basically a charming, lazy guy.
The Flirty Husband:
He has a nice wife but still he is greedy and loves to be surrounded by other beauties too. He can’t help groping his way through his wife’s friends, female coworkers, lady doctors -- basically any female with good looks. He won’t ever miss a chance of dropping or picking wife’s cousins or female friends to the airport or passing comments like ‘Sorry, but I can’t stop staring at your deep brown eyes’. He’s the sort of man that is incapable of being faithful. No love is true love for him; he can slip for any attractive girl.
The Always Penniless Husband:
The relationship starts off with thousand promises but soon all the charm fades away. He is unemployable, sitting at home eating and watching football. His parents thought he will realize his responsibilities after marriage, but no gain. The wife takes nearly no maternity leave and seems to be supporting her entire household on her salary alone. Truly, this husband is a life sentence of misery.
The Friendly Hubby:
He’s not a bad husband but his life is dedicated to his own social advancement. He cares too much about the parties, hanging with friends, night outs, travelling, long drives with his buddies. He is so very excited about these things, that he won’t even mind taking over his wife’s social life. He doesn’t believe in staying at home, he wants to have blast every night. This kind of husband can drive his wife to social madness.
The Almost Perfect Husband:
On the face, he appears to be a dream husband but in reality he is too irritating. He’s attentive, caring, loving, polite, well-dressed but always hovering near his wife, interrupting when she’s on phone, checking how much she’s been eating, drinking and spending. He’s just too much to handle. He turns up everywhere his wife goes at lunches, parties and he secretly hates her to have any friends and forbids her to even work. He basically shows he is a gem of a husband but he is a real pain. He looks like a perfect guy but he ain’t.
COOKING UP ROMANCE !
‘Not tonight darling, I'm too tired', was the dreaded bedroom line, which could dampen the ardour of most men. Wives, tired after a daylong drudgery, were huge turnoffs for most men. But, in a role reversal of sorts, today we have a more helping variety of husbands who don't mind sharing the household chores with their wives. And they are handsomely rewarded for it too, as women find them very sexy. According to a study conducted by the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, when a man cooks and cleans in the house, women consider it to be an expression of his concern, as it physically reduces their stress. The study reveals that such men are considered to be very sexy by the womenfolk. TOI checks out with some city women, if the formula works for them too. Lovely feeling Though most of the people don’t really love the housework, yet there’s no denying the fact that it is an important part of life and does influence relationships. Nagpur-based interior designer Swati Kriplani says, "It's a lovely feeling when my husband helps me around the house. It makes me feel so pampered. The mornings are very hectic for me. Many a time, it so happens that my husband Vinay makes tea or even breakfast for himself if I am in the gym, or just rushing out of the house. It definitely keeps our relationship healthy because such gestures show that he cares for me and values the work that I put in." Pleasant surprise She might be adorned with adjectives like a multitasker, yet the truth remains that along with her professional duties, a woman has to bear the extra burden of household chores as well. In such a situation, a wee bit of help from the man can go a long way in soothing the frayed nerves. Interior designer Aditi Daga says that every woman needs to feel pampered once in a while. "In the six years of my married life, many times I have cribbed over the work pressure and the drudgery of attending to cooking after a long day at work. But, I remember once I returned late after attending a baby shower, and as I entered home the thought of cooking bogged me down. But, to my surprise I found that my husband had cooked the entire meal and laid it on the table. Seeing the expression of surprise on my face, he said, 'See, I too can do it sometimes.' This has happened just twice in the past six years, but it made me feel so special," she gushes. In each other’s shoes But, good things don't last forever. So, the love and care shown by the men by helping in household work is also short-lived and happens in spurts. Says Nandini Babhulkar, a Nagpur-based paediatrician, "My husband Sushrut used to help me when we were newlywed. But, now it is rare for him to do so. He is a good cook and had promised to cook breakfast for me on my birthday, but that did not happen as he had to attend to an emergency at the hospital. I think it is good to be in each other's shoes once in a while, as it creates a better understanding." Saying that it gives the woman a big sense of relief if the husband is competent enough to handle the kitchen, career counselor, Sapna Sharma says, "I have very busy schedules, but I have never worried about who would cook or take care of the kids, as my husband takes care of all these things. I know I can depend on him and that makes me so happy." ‘It adds to your sex appeal’ Celebrity chef Sanjeev Kapoor on men with culinary expertise: "Men who cook must be considered sexy because I have a huge female fan following! But jokes apart, cooking involves a lot of experimentation and innovation. And if a man is able to conjure up a tasty dish, then it does add to his sex appeal.” |
WHAT WOMEN WANT IN SEX !
It’s the untold story. Feminism has made us want more. We’re greedy like never before. No compromises, please! Rouge did a random poll, here’s what we found out about what women want! Women want to find true love! Lusty women, passionate women, one-man women, sigh! Women want the same thing -- they want fairytale. They want to feel like Cinderella. Love still makes the world go round. Model Amanpreet Wahi says, “One thing, that I want the most is a person who loves me unconditionally. Believe me, if you get that one person, your life is perfect. I know many people who want money but what’s life without that someone special who loves you. My life is beautiful because of my boyfriend Raghav. A lot of people envy me for that.” Agrees actor Mona Singh, “I want everything but if I am asked to choose, it would be love.” Women want to be a tigeress at work! When you see a woman pitching fresh ideas in every meeting and also cancelling dinner dates with her partner or friends for attending an official gathering, she’s a woman who chooses career, hands down. Sarah Jane Dias, model says, “For me, work is my passion. This definitely doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to have that special someone but being good at work gives me a high.” Sanya Kapoor, a college student says, “If you have a good career, you get good money with which you can shop, socialise, have nice people around and also get a successful man as your partner.” Women still want a good marriage! We’re still traditional. You got it right. We want to be wooed, and then finally get married happily. At least, that’s what a majority of the women dream about. Is it easy? TV actor Shilpa Saklani says, “For me, there’s nothing more important than a good marriage. Making my married life work is an ambition.” Women want good friends We all need a shoulder to cry on. The TV soap Friends has given us great lessons in love and frienships. When we’re down, the ‘dial-a-friend’ therapy works wonders. Every woman needs friends. Why isn’t Sex and the City all about great friendships. “If you have good friends around you, nothing can bother you. They guard you like pillars all the time,” says HR consultant Deepti Kalra. Isn’t that what friends are for! Women want to be high maintainence girls Show me the money, honey! Yes, that’s what some women love to sing. Gucci bags, Chanel glasses, solitaires, high heels, Armani clothes and a penthouse. Aaah! Now, that’s what women dream of. It’s not only a happy distraction but a reality. “I would like to embark on a shopping spree every now and then, without bothering about my dipping bank balance. This will make me the object of envy for every other woman. Money can buy anything - even a nice guy,” says team leader Smita Kullu. Women want good sex! We’ve glamourised sex too much! While men are bragging about the amazing sex they are enjoying, women are left asking for more. Women as you know, don’t need much time to rev up when it comes to sex. Bad sex is a dampener! So, we were not surprised when 70% women voted for good sex. Actor Sherlyn Chopra says, “Sex is very important for me. There’s no greater pleasure than a good sex session. I even use sex toys as I think no man can satisfy me completely.” Women want to be intellectuals! Actor Tisca Chopra says, “For me, time is the most desirable thing in this world. There are so many places to visit, so many people to meet. I always feel that if I am not living 60 seconds of a minute, I am not doing justice to my life.” |
FOOD FOR SEX !
SPICE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE !
You are in the mood for a nice romantic evening, but your partner is not even thinking of it.
His/her words, ‘Not now, dear, I’m just not in the mood,’ may upset you, but we suggest that instead of just taking this in your stride, why not do something that will make your partner change his/her mood?
Remember, many people these days are dealing with the frustration of not having a fulfiling romantic and sex life. Why is this? Maybe you’re not being adventurous and exciting enough in the bedroom. Maybe the bedroom is played out and you need to move to another room, for a change.
However, it’s always better to start with something easy – maybe a nice, romantic dinner. Make it a date. Start by asking your partner out on a date (might be a long time since an official date, and this works). Coming home from work early before your partner gets home is a very good idea. So, this is what you could do – leave work early. You will need some supplies: Start with a real nice dinner. If you’re not in the mood to cook, just order dinner from outside.
Don’t forget to carry roses and yes, a bag of rose petals, some candles and a massage lotion.
Then get into action. Have the dinner ready, a nice table set with some wine and candles.
Put the rose petals all over the bed and maybe leave a trail to the bedroom from the kitchen after you are done eating, without being seen. Play some nice music and you should get some reaction from this. Remember, the goal is not to trick your partner, just to get the focus a little more on romance.
His/her words, ‘Not now, dear, I’m just not in the mood,’ may upset you, but we suggest that instead of just taking this in your stride, why not do something that will make your partner change his/her mood?
Remember, many people these days are dealing with the frustration of not having a fulfiling romantic and sex life. Why is this? Maybe you’re not being adventurous and exciting enough in the bedroom. Maybe the bedroom is played out and you need to move to another room, for a change.
However, it’s always better to start with something easy – maybe a nice, romantic dinner. Make it a date. Start by asking your partner out on a date (might be a long time since an official date, and this works). Coming home from work early before your partner gets home is a very good idea. So, this is what you could do – leave work early. You will need some supplies: Start with a real nice dinner. If you’re not in the mood to cook, just order dinner from outside.
Don’t forget to carry roses and yes, a bag of rose petals, some candles and a massage lotion.
Then get into action. Have the dinner ready, a nice table set with some wine and candles.
Put the rose petals all over the bed and maybe leave a trail to the bedroom from the kitchen after you are done eating, without being seen. Play some nice music and you should get some reaction from this. Remember, the goal is not to trick your partner, just to get the focus a little more on romance.
WHAT DO MEN WANT ?
Most women wonder about what makes them attractive to the opposite sex.
What men want is as complex a question as what women want ! But if one goes by a recent report then it seems men are turned on by simple things like the scent that a woman wears, long legs and intelligence.
Some hunks from the entertainment industry : singer Palash Sen says, “I am always looking for intelligence in a woman. This apart, I also like women who sport long hair.” And hold on, smile is also a great turn on. As TV actor Chetan Hansraj says: “A beautiful smile makes me go weak in the knees. A good smile has the power to hypnotise.” For VJ Yudhishtir Urs, “It’s about the way a woman carries herself and the energy she exudes. Confidence, elegance and a sense of style have a magnetic appeal.”
On the other hand, eyes that speak volumes are a big turn on for TV actor Karan Grover. “I feel a woman with beautiful eyes is sure to make heads turn. How a woman speaks and carries herself is also important,” he says. Model turned actor Parvin Dabas maintains that, “Being a good human being is all that matters.” However, some men seem to want it all. “Insolence and unpredictability, long legs, beautiful scent and intelligence — a woman who has all that is the most desirable woman in the world,” says Pritish Nandy, a leading producer. Now we know!
What men want is as complex a question as what women want ! But if one goes by a recent report then it seems men are turned on by simple things like the scent that a woman wears, long legs and intelligence.
Some hunks from the entertainment industry : singer Palash Sen says, “I am always looking for intelligence in a woman. This apart, I also like women who sport long hair.” And hold on, smile is also a great turn on. As TV actor Chetan Hansraj says: “A beautiful smile makes me go weak in the knees. A good smile has the power to hypnotise.” For VJ Yudhishtir Urs, “It’s about the way a woman carries herself and the energy she exudes. Confidence, elegance and a sense of style have a magnetic appeal.”
On the other hand, eyes that speak volumes are a big turn on for TV actor Karan Grover. “I feel a woman with beautiful eyes is sure to make heads turn. How a woman speaks and carries herself is also important,” he says. Model turned actor Parvin Dabas maintains that, “Being a good human being is all that matters.” However, some men seem to want it all. “Insolence and unpredictability, long legs, beautiful scent and intelligence — a woman who has all that is the most desirable woman in the world,” says Pritish Nandy, a leading producer. Now we know!
TOP SEX MISTAKES MEN MAKE !
There just isn’t any other way to say it – a sex slip-up just isn’t sexy, and to save all men from bedroom ‘disasters’, a leading sexologist has come to the rescue.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc., has come up with top mistakes men make in bed...
The biggest mistakes men make include:
1. Foreplay doesn't start in the sack
The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all day affair.
Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game — in more ways than one - and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.
2. Don't head south straight away
A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good. Be sure to focus on her entire body - head to toe - before going for the gold.
3. Get to that G spot
In digging for buried treasure, many guys don’t know that “X” doesn’t always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman’s G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.
4. Don't be too goal-oriented
There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.
Stay “present” in the moment - connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.
5. Let her be naughty
Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It's not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.
6. She's not a porn star
As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.
7. And men aren't supposed to look like porn stars
Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being just that.
8. One orgasm is not always enough
Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc., has come up with top mistakes men make in bed...
The biggest mistakes men make include:
1. Foreplay doesn't start in the sack
The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all day affair.
Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game — in more ways than one - and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.
2. Don't head south straight away
A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good. Be sure to focus on her entire body - head to toe - before going for the gold.
3. Get to that G spot
In digging for buried treasure, many guys don’t know that “X” doesn’t always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman’s G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.
4. Don't be too goal-oriented
There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.
Stay “present” in the moment - connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.
5. Let her be naughty
Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It's not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.
6. She's not a porn star
As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.
7. And men aren't supposed to look like porn stars
Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being just that.
8. One orgasm is not always enough
Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.
SEX IS BACK !
Sexism and the city. Behold. We’re ready for new bedroom lessons. The girls are back. The serial taught Indian women to deal with their sexual vulnerabilities, anxieties and intelligence openly. It was the world of quickies, ladies lunching and shopping. So, what did Samantha, Carrie teach Indian women and men, are we ready for new lessons in faking orgasms. Now, as India gets ready for the movie Sex and the City, we discover why city’s sex life is going to get a makeover: No fun, then dump! Women want more out of life, and this time she ain’t settling for less dear boys! So if you are not able to surprise or satisfy her in the bed, she will kick you out of that bedroom without even thinking twice. Gone are the days when men had different set of rules, where sex was concerned and had edge over women. Women nowadays are more open and active about their sex life. Actor Divya Dutta says, “Women are now more vocal about relationships and sexuality. They’re working out their fantasies and feelings, nothing will suppress them. The Sex and the City girls taught them that they could live a life above the kitty party syndrome.” Man-hopper girls! Beautiful girls have more choices in terms of men. So guys, stuff it right in your head that one stupid mistake and you will be the past for your present girlfriend. She’s bold and stands tall with her decisions. Cricketer Sreesanth says, “Women are getting bolder and aware of choices in relationships. However, there is no doubt about it that today’s women are sexually liberated. Women want world at their feet.” Women don’t mind going through the whole lot until they find the best man. Just a thought, Britney Spears was linked with Justin Timberlake but got married to Kevin Federline, divorced and now in love with Adnan Ghalib. So now that’s what we call ample choice, I hope guys you get the point! No nonsense, girls! The bottom line is, there’s no room for nonsense in a healthy relationship. Women are smart and definitely not ready to take trash from men. They have become independent, more self-centred and want happiness at any cost. They don’t give a damn to what society thinks. Actor Samir Soni agrees, “It’s great to see women going for their personal choices and not just doing something under social pressure.” The moment you start creating unnecessary problems, the very next minute you’re out of it. Remember the movie, Sleeping With The Enemy in which Julia Roberts moves out of a relationship because of the cruel behaviour of the husband. Model Lakshmi Rana says, “Modern women do not believe in dragging a relationship if they’re not happy. This is a big change. Women are intolerant towards insensitivity and bad behaviour.” Loud and clear It’s not that women never knew what they want. But this time they are being open about relationships and dictating the new rules of the game all together. Comedian Vir Das agrees, “Women were open about relationships but now they are sharing it all with the men. The three things that women want in their lives are, first, they want everything. Second, they want men and third, they want what other women want.” Sex or no sex, women are taking charge of their sexual lives now. “In ancient times, sexuality was considered a celebrated thing and we have to be open and clear about these things. Please, it is not a taboo anymore,” says TV actor, Roshni Chopra. |
THE ART OF SEDUCTION !
Forget those cheesy pick-up lines and expensive colognes to impress a woman. The winning formula to land a hot date requires nothing but a straight look into her eyes accompanied by a light touch on her arm, according to a new study. The study, by scientists at Aberdeen university has found that two-thirds of women gave a nod to dance with a man who requested for a dance by resting his hand on her arm for a second or two. And those who did not comply with the trick and kept their hands by their side while asking the same question had a success rate of only 50 percent. In fact, women also preferred to give their phone-number to a man who touched their arm as he approached them in the street. Published in Focus Magazine, the study said that touching makes a man appear dominant, and henceforth more attractive to the opposite sex. In fact, researcher Dr Ben Jones said that making eye contact also indicates interest in a woman, but only if it is genuine. "Smiling can make you more attractive but it is worth bearing in mind that faking a smile is quite tricky," the Telegraph quoted Jones, as saying. And those men, who find it hard to fake a smile, are advised by Jones to take extra care of their skin, or stay amidst other women to appear more appealing. There have been innumerable studies on finding the perfect seduction technique. Countless books, manuals (read the Kamasutra) have been dedicated to understanding what drives a man, and woman crazy. Tales of seduction, and seductresses have continued to feed the fantasies of men and women throughout history. |
SEDUCTION OF SENSES
You can touch my hair and kiss me everywhere... Does it sound too clichéd or rather boring way to seduce your partner? Are you tired of reading the same old techniques of seduction? Well, what about going back to the basics? And nothing can be more basic than the five senses - sense of sight, sense of smell, sense of taste, sense of hearing, sense of touch. These can really keep things sizzling hot during sex. Vatsayan would have definitely vouched for that! We get modern day experts to share more on it... To keep the flames burning in your sex-life, you must fine-tune your seduction skills. With fingers busy, mouths, lips, tongues, noses, and eyes enticed, sensuousness will linger in every move to make you the most desirable man or woman of seduction. Rita Gangwani, an etiquette expert, shares, “Sometimes we take the senses so much for granted that we don't really pay attention to them. Working to develop the five senses and focusing on them while making love, drawing attention to his/her sensuousness will not only enhance your own pleasure, but will give pleasure to your lover as well.” Dr. Sanjay Chugh, expert on sexual issues, says, “The seduction tips that one can employ also depends on ‘overall’ quality of the couple's relationship. If there is a healthy emotional and psychological bond between the two, the chances of a good sex life is high. And in case, if one incorporates a few out-of-the-box techniques, then it’s definitely some icing on the cake!” Psychiatrist Dr. Samir Parikh supports, “Couples need to keep trying to make things work for them but the key is not just trying new things, its more to be attuned to each others likes, fantasies and pleasures so that a mutually satisfying relationship could result. They can try various permutations and combinations of these seduction ways on their personalities.” On how these five senses work towards stimulating the libido of male/female partner, Dr. Parikh explains, “Most of these factors (senses) have an association in our mind, so they act as a conditioned stimulus, and can help creating the atmosphere. But the key would be the mutuality and the quality of the non-sexual life would have its direct impact on the sexual life.” Rita adds, “One must be aware to the fact that human body is bristling with sensory receptors - God’s gift to humankind - it’s up to us to responsibly enjoy it. One must give body the permission to celebrate what’s inside; celebrate it with oneself, and with the partner. We must take time to really learn the subtle but very powerful art of seducing the opposite sex using all five senses." |
SEX IN THE CITY !
Britons find gardens great and by lanes titillating, they love having sex anywhere but on the bed! For Australians, nothing can beat their coupe. Lack of space keeps them dangerously close while the anytime-anywhere seclusion makes their car an ideal haunt for a quickie! If Brits and Aussies hunt out for places, the bold Greek Gods who have sex on their mind 24 X 7 can have it just anywhere. And lovers back in India? Are they ready to go beyond the four walls? We explore... We asked a few people about their ideal place for having a romp and the answers, well, would have made Vatsyayan proud! “In a bath tub filled with red wine and rose petals as it will be innovative and erotic”, say Rajshree Makhija, a PR professional based in Mumbai, while Samaira Kundra, 25 year old newly married professional, who has not yet explored any territories apart from her bedroom wants to take the fire on to the “kitchen shelf or the couch.” As we continued on our quest, some of the hottest love dens included the staircase, the dining table (decently spacious), the sofa, and even the balcony. For Rishi Sadana, 25 and Mohit Malhotra, 28, Software Engineers based in Delhi, nothing can beat the roof top and the loo of an aircraft. If that was not enough, 26 years old Meenakshi Mathur, a content developer from Delhi wants to try in a boat, provided it’s covered and Barsha Gosain, a teacher, would love some action on the beach to “feel cool breeze and the moonlight acting as the perfect foil for a romantic passionate night.” Great! For some individuals, solid ground was just not enough, the deep waters of the ocean or vast, open space are more titillating. “I want to do it inside the ocean” says 23 year old Paromita Bardhan, a doctor by profession while Sanjay Nagar, a businessman from Jaipur doesn’t mind going a little overboard and get going in space! It’s not just about silent yearnings and meek desires any more, for most young couples have already been there and done that. Ask Cholena Deb, assistant editor, EFY group, who has tried almost every nook and corner of her home. “We have not left even a single place in our home unexplored. From washroom to dining room to living room, everywhere... I guess it can start from kitchen too. Couch was the best!” And Bikash Bose, an architect, finds the big rocking chair in their drawing room as the best place after the bed. Yes, nothing like a spot of adventure to keep the fires going. “It’s always exciting to try out new places as I think doing the same thing in the same place makes things monotonous and even the slightest of change in the place surely builds up the excitement levels,” says Samaira. Adds Himanshu Gupta, advertising professional, wants to “break free from the daily routine of hitting the bed for he believes change is always meant for the good.” Even experts are all for experimentation to keep the magic alive. According to psychologist Dr. Sanjay Chugh, “The more harmonious and comfortable the place, more conducive it is for sexual union. Having said that, I would suggest that the couples should not try out places that are physically uncomfortable or have some negative memories attached to it. Make sure the mood is set, with perfect music, lighting as per your mood and some mild fragrance. The most important thing is to go ahead with the one you love, for he/she can turn any place into heaven.” You said it, doc! (Names changed on request) |
FRESH BREATH IS IMPORTANT !
No success in love life? Well, all you need to do is be committed to oral hygiene for bad breath may be what’s keeping your love away from you. A new Oz survey has revealed that not having bad breath can get you success in love life. The survey, conducted by group pureprofile on behalf of dental products group Oral B, questioned 1001 people and discovered that 96 per cent of Australians surveyed agreed that bad oral hygiene makes kissing less enjoyable, reports Sydney Morning Herald. Ninety-six per cent of the volunteers think bad breath affects the enjoyment of kissing. Sixty-one per cent of respondents say they have stopped snogging someone because of "bad oral hygiene". Bad oral hygiene can also affect your career, according to the survey. |
SEX DRIVE WITH AROMA THERAPY !
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Ever wondered why Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love and Sensuality, used rose petals in her love den? Why Kamasutra heralds the use of itars and scents? Or for that matter, why our ancient Vedas dedicate the entire Vajrakaran Tantra to the use of aromatic oils? Well, the reason is a little complicated and lies in one of our six senses! “Our sense of smell stimulates the nerve endings of the olfactory bulb, which lies at the back of the nose, which in turn stimulates a part of the brain called the limbic system that triggers our libido,” explains Blossom Kochhar, renowned aroma therapist. “The essential oils do magic and stimulate the pituitary gland, the master of endocrine gland, which controls hormone production. Inactiveness of pituitary gland can lead to low sex drive. So, the oils help keep it in an active state,” tells Aromatherapist, Dr. Naresh Arora, Chase Aroma Therapy. Well, it seems Aphrodite and Vatsyayan had cracked the secret way back. Now you know why she’s the Goddess of love and he India’s eternal sex guru! So, if your libido is letting you down, it’s time to treat yourself to some sweet smells to get back in action. Aromatherapy oils are a sensual way to fire up the libido. The molecules of oils are so small that they can mingle in the bloodstream rapidly and are carried to all parts of the body. Natural scents present in aroma oils bear a key importance when it comes to sexual attraction. Some scents are overpoweringly arousing aphrodisiacs for women while other are good enough to bewitch even the most sober of men. You just need to try to believe in the power of the “secret” bedroom helpers that these oils are. Among the many aromatic oils that have been reputed to have aphrodisiac qualities are the sweet flavors of cinnamon, bergamot, cedarwood, chocolate, vanilla, lavender, roses and patchouli. Ylang Ylang Sexual prowess : Considered as one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs, ylang ylang increases libido and attraction between lovers. It energises you, intensifies eroticism and is good for sexual experimentation. Wanna try? Just place a cotton bud dipped in ylang ylang near your bed and witness its magic! (Yes, just one drop of ylan ylang is enough!) Caution: Do not use too much of it, for it takes you into a state of euphoria and can cause headache and nausea. Rose otto Sexual prowess : The oil works best for females, especially when it comes to balancing the hormones. It has a tonic effect on the reproductive organs, and can work best to boost sexuality. Wanna try? Go ahead, pamper her. Give her a soothing love massage... |
SEX EVERYDAY KEEPS DOCTORS AWAY !
If you’ve been wondering what makes someone good in bed, don’t hit the gym. Only a great physique or knowledge of twenty different positions doesn’t make for wonderful sex. It might sound old-fashioned, but really knowing and liking your partner is crucial to the mercury rising in your bedroom. These are some common goof-ups people make during sex, and how to avoid them. Not very hot on info It’s no secret that many people in the land of the Kamasutra are basically misinformed or under informed about sex. Conservative families, the burden of upholding our ‘culture’ and embarrassment prevent people from going to the bedroom armed with at least enough information about sex and the body. But with the amount of information available on the net, you can easily educate yourself about how your partner’s body works and what is pleasurable. After that, it’s all a matter of trial (and a few errors) to figure out how you both can have the most fun. Are you clairvoyant? You’re not, right? Neither is your partner. It’s naive to assume they will just know what you want if they ‘really love you’. In fact, if you really love your partner, you should be the one taking the initiative to speak up and actually talk about what you want and what the two of you could improve upon in the bedroom. Don’t expect your lover to be superhuman and all knowing. It’s no fun making love to a perfect being anyway. Putting you to sleep If all you can think about when you look at your bed is sleeping, you’re probably bored with your sex life. It happens. Hectic schedules and family responsibilities leave hardly any time for sex, let alone innovative sex. But if you want to do more than sleep in the bedroom, you should give some thought to doing it differently. Boredom creeps in largely because of monotony, because sex becomes a chore. You wouldn’t have dal and chawal every night, so you shouldn’t make love the same way every time either. Vary the scene a bit each time – try sexy lingerie, different lighting, dirty talk, massages, different positions ... there are enough sources to find out how you can make an otherwise lukewarm sex life really steamy. One way street That’s what sex often becomes – a one-sided effort. Women either think men should initiate sex if they really desire them, or that men are natural aggressors and it’s their ‘role’ to desire lovemaking more than women do. Again, that’s partly misinformation. The healthiest, hottest relationship is one in which both partners make each other feel loved and wanted. Don’t let one person do all the work. Initiate sex more often, and when your partner least expects it. Brush against them discreetly at a party or if you’re alone during a meal. Try seduction during a boring car ride or call them at work (when you know they will have some free time!) . Your partner will be pleasantly surprised at how warm and loved that makes them feel, and you can then turn things from warm to hot at the next opportunity. ‘How do I look?’ This worry often stands in the way of really enjoying sex with your partner. We’re not all meant to look like supermodels, and it’s ok if you don’t. Your partner might not think you look bad, even if you agonise over the fact that you don’t look like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. If you keep wondering whether you’re looking fine all the time and trying not to let your partner look at you too much, it makes for disappointing sex. You need to trust your partner to like you just the way you are, the way you like them. Relax and enjoy the feeling of being together, and you’ll discover what a romp you can have. Confidence only grows with good sex, so if you can feel good about yourself in bed once, the next time, you’ll feel even better. |
IS SEX DURING PREGNANCY SAFE ?
Sex positions: A pregnant woman is very fragile; therefore, sex during pregnancy is something that has to be handled with great care. Dr. Bhonsle elucidates, "the woman on top is always a safe position. The man on top is not recommended as its might hurt the woman's belly. The spoon position is also advised in this period. The most important thing is that the man should respect his partner's body which is going through phenomenal changes and take special care of her". Apart from these reccomendations, Dr Bhonsle strongly advices, "staying away from oral sex (cunnilingus) as it may be harmful for the woman. There is a fear of air been blown in the vagina." As a general rule, a good position for sex during pregnancy is one where: Both partners are physically comfortable. The position should allow for the kind of sex and physical contact you want to have. Both partners must avoid putting pressure on a woman's uterus, or a partner's full weight on the pregnant belly. There are many positions that are more comfortable. Few of them are: Woman on top Spooning (Man behind woman, rear entry) Hands and Knees Sexual practices during pregnancy will depend on: Your previous beliefs about sex Physical aspects of your pregnancy Emotional aspects of your pregnancy Or more bluntly put, whatever works! When not to have sex and/or orgasms during pregnancy: Your practitioner has advised against it You have a history of premature birth or labor Placenta previa (where part of the placenta is covering the cervix) Your water has broken You are currently experiencing bleeding You or your partner is affected by STD |
WOMAN HAS 200 ORGASMS A DAY !
ETERNAL STATE OF EXALTED BLISS
Sarah, 24, suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome
ORGASMS: Sarah
PRETTY Sarah Carmen is a 200-a-day orgasm girl who gets good, good, GOOD vibrations from almost anything.
The rumble of a train on the tracks, the purr of a hairdryer, the rhythmic drone of a photo-copier are all enough to make her go oh oh oh, ahhhhh.
She had FIVE orgasms during our 40-minute interview. But I can't take the credit—it was just talking about her sex life that set her off.
Sarah, 24, suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which increases blood flow to the sex organs.
She said: "Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don't seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily."
As she chatted, Sarah became increasingly flustered.
"Sorry, you'll have to excuse me for a minute. I'll be with you in a sec," she mumbled before letting out a long sigh.
Sarah, from London, developed PSAS after being prescribed anti-depressants at 19.
Stunned
She believes her condition was brought on by the pills.
She said: "Within a few weeks I just began to get more and more aroused more and more of the time and I just kept having endless orgasms.
"It started off in bed where sex sessions would last for hours and my boyfriend would be stunned at how many times I would orgasm.
"Then it would happen after sex. I'd be thinking about what we'd done in bed and I'd start feeling a bit flushed, then I'd become aroused and climax.
"In six months I was having 150 orgasms a day—and it has been as many as 200."
She and her boyfriend split— and new partners struggle to keep up with her sex demands. "Often, I'll want to wear myself out by having as many orgasms as I can so they stop and I can get some peace," she said.
Sarah is a beautician and working in salons filled with whirring hairdryers and skincare gadgets can cause problems.
"If I start coughing and run to the loo, the girls know to fetch the client a magazine or a cup of tea," she said, adding, "Sometimes I'd like to just have a normal life."
Sarah says the Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome that she suffers from can cause her to have orgasm at any time of day.
She explained: "Anything can set me off. Even the hairdryers cause funny pulsations through my body.
"As a skin care specialist I have to use tools which vibrate a lot of the time for micro-dermabrasion and they sometimes set me off.
"I find if I'm nervous I'm less likely to get over-excited. So sometimes I try to psyche myself up and worry to control my orgasms.
"Some of my regular customers know my problem. But with new clients it's hard to explain.
"I have been in the middle of a treatment and it's happened and I've had to carry on.
"I was doing a bikini wax and you have to really concentrate and keep your hands very still, and mine go a bit wobbly when I orgasm.
"I had to pretend I had cramp in my foot and just stood there wriggling around on the spot and stifling my moans until it was over."
Sarah's friends think she is the luckiest girl ever, although her family think her behaviour is sometimes slightly odd.
She said: "The best way to describe how I am when I am with my family and I have one of my 'moments' is that I behave like Sheila from Shameless.
"I just get a bid giddy and yelp out and try to control myself. I've never sat down and explained it to my mum and dad.
"They just think I get a bit hyperactive round them.
"My friends think it's great. I have more orgasms in one day than most of them will probably have in a year.
"They say to me that they feel lucky if their boyfriend makes them have one orgasm-some days I have one every ten minutes."
It has proved to be a problem for Sarah in some relationships.
She said: "I dated one guy who was very selfish and he was that way in the bedroom too. He'd just lie back and expect me to please him.
"He just figured that because I could climax without him even having to touch me, he didn't need to do anything to please me.
"I just thought that was rude and inconsiderate. It didn't last very long with him."
Noisy
She has also had embarrassing moments in public. Going to noisy bars and clubs is out of the question as the vibrations send her wild.
"We have to find nice quiet bars," she explained. "I have more orgasms if I have a drink as it relaxes me so I tend to drink very little now.
"It can be a bit embarrassing if I'm tipsy and guys who don't know me talk to me, because I find it harder to hide.
"The most embarrassing thing that has happened was when I answered a market research questionnaire and had an orgasm in front of the researcher.
"She knew what was happening and looked at me like I was a weirdo. I tried to explain that I couldn't help it, but I was blushing so much I had to walk away."
Sarah has even been to a Sex Addicts' Anonymous meeting in despair over her sex drive.
She said: "At first when the problem started I just wanted to have sex all the time, I thought I was a sex addict.
"But when I looked around the room and heard the stories other people told, about how desperate they were for sex, I realised I wasn't like them.
Problem
"With me, it was a means of releasing my orgasm, but now I know I don't have to have sex to do that."
Sarah has looked into the condition and believes it may have been triggered by her taking anti-depressants.
She said: "I've found studies that say that taking anti-depressants and then stopping has an effect on the sexual organs. That is the only thing that explains what happens to me.
"But I've heard of other girls who have the same problem and it just appears out of the blue. I've spoken to my doctor about it but she wasn't a great deal of help but that's mainly because there's very little known about it and no one yet knows how to cure it."
Thanks to her understanding friends and colleagues, Sarah feels like she can now live with PSAS.
She said: "I'm lucky because people around me are very kind and appreciate that sometimes this is a problem for me and it can be embarrassing.
"I need to concentrate on something sad or worrying when I talk to people and I don't want to get carried away."
During our 40-minute interview, Sarah told us she had five orgasms.
Years of dealing with the problem means that sometimes she can hide it quite well.
Her voice goes high pitched and she will lose her train of thought and have to stop talking completely for a few seconds. She says disguises this by coughing when she is in awkward situations.
"But it's also nice to have so much excitement every day! It's strange because it came from nowhere and I guess it could go away just as quickly, so I'm making the most of it while it lasts!"
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