Sushant’s story was no different (name changed on request) who admits to having been bitten by the age old relationship destroying bug – ‘suspicion’, about his wife cheating on him while he was busy making dollars in the US.
“I felt anxious every time she didn’t answer the phone or hung up hurriedly saying she was busy,” Sushant recalls with a feeling of guilt but then quickly adds: “Looking back, I do feel I was wrong but I don’t really blame myself for distrusting her. Under those circumstances, I just had no other choice.”
Tonic of trust & communication
Staying away from one’s partner can be difficult as one literally struggles to settle in a new environment while the other begins to deal with daily chores almost single-handedly, to say nothing about the tough task of raising the kids. As a result, relations fail all too frequently and people often feel that a marriage cannot survive if the spouse stays away from home. But there are also those who believe in the 3C’s – Commitment, Communication and Care.
Believe it or not, for actress Suchitra Pillai the months apart from her husband were smooth sailing. She never felt insecure during the 11-month stay of hubby Lars in Vietnam. “We made a conscious effort to keep in touch over the phone and exchanged e-mails. And instant messengers for chatting always came to our rescue. But above all, I know that Lars is a very transparent person and cannot lie at all!
According to Pravin Acharya, best efforts and mutual interests are required to make a relationship work even amid difficulties. “Both partners must recall why they took the decision in the first place and trust each other,” he says. “It took me and my wife a great deal of effort and understanding to fit into our new frame of relationship,” he adds.
Distance: A cloud with a silver lining
Does the absence of your partner make you realise how much you need him/her? Does the ‘space’ actually make you more affectionate, more loving and caring?
“Sure! If partners think like that and not just focus on the not-so-pleasant side of it, the separation will be far more tolerable,” explains Dr. Sanjay Chugh, a psychiatrist. “Once parted, they will start appreciating each other and it is this realisation of worth that helps strengthen the nuptial bond even more.”
Ruby, a 32-year-old homemaker, felt just that and gained strength to survive the ordeal. After her husband went abroad, she became a Jane-of-all-trades and soon learnt basic skills like banking, plumbing and electrical work. She could even fix the car when it broke down! “The one thing we have both realised is that we never want to be apart like this again. But, in a sense, long distance has been the best of the worst thing for us,” she says.
It is true that distance makes the heart grow fonder but distance also brings its share of troubles and complexities, making it a fragile paradise. For couples committed to a long-distance relationship, it is, therefore, imperative to try and strike the right balance to keep their Garden of Eden blooming. Otherwise, it may be another paradise lost and an irretrievable fall from grace!
“I felt anxious every time she didn’t answer the phone or hung up hurriedly saying she was busy,” Sushant recalls with a feeling of guilt but then quickly adds: “Looking back, I do feel I was wrong but I don’t really blame myself for distrusting her. Under those circumstances, I just had no other choice.”
Tonic of trust & communication
Staying away from one’s partner can be difficult as one literally struggles to settle in a new environment while the other begins to deal with daily chores almost single-handedly, to say nothing about the tough task of raising the kids. As a result, relations fail all too frequently and people often feel that a marriage cannot survive if the spouse stays away from home. But there are also those who believe in the 3C’s – Commitment, Communication and Care.
Believe it or not, for actress Suchitra Pillai the months apart from her husband were smooth sailing. She never felt insecure during the 11-month stay of hubby Lars in Vietnam. “We made a conscious effort to keep in touch over the phone and exchanged e-mails. And instant messengers for chatting always came to our rescue. But above all, I know that Lars is a very transparent person and cannot lie at all!
According to Pravin Acharya, best efforts and mutual interests are required to make a relationship work even amid difficulties. “Both partners must recall why they took the decision in the first place and trust each other,” he says. “It took me and my wife a great deal of effort and understanding to fit into our new frame of relationship,” he adds.
Distance: A cloud with a silver lining
Does the absence of your partner make you realise how much you need him/her? Does the ‘space’ actually make you more affectionate, more loving and caring?
“Sure! If partners think like that and not just focus on the not-so-pleasant side of it, the separation will be far more tolerable,” explains Dr. Sanjay Chugh, a psychiatrist. “Once parted, they will start appreciating each other and it is this realisation of worth that helps strengthen the nuptial bond even more.”
Ruby, a 32-year-old homemaker, felt just that and gained strength to survive the ordeal. After her husband went abroad, she became a Jane-of-all-trades and soon learnt basic skills like banking, plumbing and electrical work. She could even fix the car when it broke down! “The one thing we have both realised is that we never want to be apart like this again. But, in a sense, long distance has been the best of the worst thing for us,” she says.
It is true that distance makes the heart grow fonder but distance also brings its share of troubles and complexities, making it a fragile paradise. For couples committed to a long-distance relationship, it is, therefore, imperative to try and strike the right balance to keep their Garden of Eden blooming. Otherwise, it may be another paradise lost and an irretrievable fall from grace!
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