What exactly do we mean by asexual?
In a world where lust comes packed in a pill, skin is considered a marketing tool and high premium is placed on sexuality, it might be surprising to know that a growing number of people are prepared to admit they are just not that into ‘sex’.
They call themselves asexual and are coming forward to declare their asexuality as a valid orientation. What exactly do we mean by asexual? If you're a marine polyp, it means you can reproduce without the union of male and female chromosomes. If you're human, the ‘American Heritage Dictionary’ defines asexuality as, “Lacking interest in or desire for sex.”
Demanding careers, households, friends and family keep most women and even men occupied 24x7. So occupied, in fact, that sex becomes just another obligation to fulfill. But instead of fretting about such lack of passion in their lives, these people say that an active sex life is no longer important to them.
Garuav Bansal, a 28-year-old NRI who works and studies in London, says, “I don’t even have the time to think about it and now I don’t even care. Sex is just not high on my list of priorities.”
The underlying causes of lack of sexual feelings can be very different
Deepika Verma, who is working with a private bank as the branch manager, explains, “I work from 9 a.m to 9 p.m, some times even longer. After 13-15 hours of work, when I get back home, I can’t even think of it. The truth is that with all the demands of a modern life, couples like us find it hard to schedule in time to have sex.”
A hectic life aside, some asexuals might simply have low sex drives. As Veena (name changed), a lively 26-year-old writer from Kolkata puts it “Sex is like algebra to me. I understand the funda, but I am not interested in it. I don’t have strong feelings about it, the way the rest of the world has.”
Veena has an active social life and a large circle of friends, but she does not have interest in kissing, or anything it might lead to. “Almost 70 percent of my friends are men and I just don't really want them near me that way,” she says.
Other reasons for lack of sexual desire may include domestic violence, financial crisis, sleep problems, irritability, headaches and depression, fear of relationships and commitment or simply not having met the right person. After all, sexuality is a complex mixture of biological, psychological and social factors.
However, Priya (name changed), a Web designer, has an entirely different take on asexuality. She says, “Our role in the bedroom is different. Men expect us to work eight hours daily, clean the house, make delicious meals, take care of the family and then at night become a porn star. I just want to be mentally stimulated after a day’s work and have a true feeling of being loved. That’s the time I hate the very concept of ‘being sexed up’. If men were more compassionate they wouldn't complain about having sex 2-3 times a week, they are lucky that they get it at all!”
In a world where lust comes packed in a pill, skin is considered a marketing tool and high premium is placed on sexuality, it might be surprising to know that a growing number of people are prepared to admit they are just not that into ‘sex’.
They call themselves asexual and are coming forward to declare their asexuality as a valid orientation. What exactly do we mean by asexual? If you're a marine polyp, it means you can reproduce without the union of male and female chromosomes. If you're human, the ‘American Heritage Dictionary’ defines asexuality as, “Lacking interest in or desire for sex.”
Demanding careers, households, friends and family keep most women and even men occupied 24x7. So occupied, in fact, that sex becomes just another obligation to fulfill. But instead of fretting about such lack of passion in their lives, these people say that an active sex life is no longer important to them.
Garuav Bansal, a 28-year-old NRI who works and studies in London, says, “I don’t even have the time to think about it and now I don’t even care. Sex is just not high on my list of priorities.”
The underlying causes of lack of sexual feelings can be very different
Deepika Verma, who is working with a private bank as the branch manager, explains, “I work from 9 a.m to 9 p.m, some times even longer. After 13-15 hours of work, when I get back home, I can’t even think of it. The truth is that with all the demands of a modern life, couples like us find it hard to schedule in time to have sex.”
A hectic life aside, some asexuals might simply have low sex drives. As Veena (name changed), a lively 26-year-old writer from Kolkata puts it “Sex is like algebra to me. I understand the funda, but I am not interested in it. I don’t have strong feelings about it, the way the rest of the world has.”
Veena has an active social life and a large circle of friends, but she does not have interest in kissing, or anything it might lead to. “Almost 70 percent of my friends are men and I just don't really want them near me that way,” she says.
Other reasons for lack of sexual desire may include domestic violence, financial crisis, sleep problems, irritability, headaches and depression, fear of relationships and commitment or simply not having met the right person. After all, sexuality is a complex mixture of biological, psychological and social factors.
However, Priya (name changed), a Web designer, has an entirely different take on asexuality. She says, “Our role in the bedroom is different. Men expect us to work eight hours daily, clean the house, make delicious meals, take care of the family and then at night become a porn star. I just want to be mentally stimulated after a day’s work and have a true feeling of being loved. That’s the time I hate the very concept of ‘being sexed up’. If men were more compassionate they wouldn't complain about having sex 2-3 times a week, they are lucky that they get it at all!”
No comments:
Post a Comment